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|Name:||professor d00meh von darkness|
|Website:||i have slept... with all the girls... in berlin.|
|Yahoo! ID:||d00mw0lf (Add User, Send Message) |
|Bio:||The Journal Of Professor d00meh Von Darkness|
stand up when you say that
Professor d00mw0lf "Danger" Von Darkness was born in the early 1600's in a Parisian sewer. Her mother - a transvestite go-go dancer who went by the name of "Sprinkles McLollipop" ran off with a one-armed milkman and was last seen on a train heading for Russia shouting "Never trust a bovine filled with explosives!"
The infant Von Darkness was raised by Granneh Von Darkness who taught young d00mw0lf to knit, bake and swear like a certified maniac. And from these humble beginnings was the great Professor lathed.
During the English Civil War, Professor Von Darkness is reported to have been "Beshtest matesh" with John Lilburne, although the only evidence to support this is a letter from Von Darkness to Lilburne which reads "Yo Johnny-boy! Tell the levellers to hurry up and write "One Way" willya? Cheers mate, DVD."
For the next few hundred years, Von Darkness roamed around Europe where she did a lot of shouting and standing on things.
In 1850, Professor Von Darkness accidentally started the "fortnight of rather noisy argueing" which resulted in Karlzars becoming a country in it's own right. She took up residency in Wythcheeps where she farmed Alexander Valjenovs. Sadly, there was no market for Alexander Valjenovs, so by 1900 she moved to the kingdom of Mercia and was dissapointed to find some daft bastard had renamed it "England". Not to be detterred, Von Darkness built a castle in the People's Republic of Sheffchester, before decareing herself "Loud Lord Of Sheffchester and all who would enter there" very few people paid any attention.
After a few years, her castle had burnt down and fallen into a swamp. The professor cancelled the milk and went for a walk.
On this walk, Professor Von Darkness was acosted by a hellish hound-beast. The beast ran towards her and stopped at her feet before headbutting her mercilessly untill she scratched his ears. She named the beast "Princess Benjo Banjo" and insisted he come with her on her quest for world domination.
Professor Von Darkness then spent a few years running around London in a top hat pretending to be a vampire. She now regards this period in her life asbeing "a bit bloody daft"
During the 60's, Professor Von Darkness began experimenting with the ancient dark art of "Tom Paulin". Her first attempt resulted in the Tv Show "Doctor Who" - something she is still quietly proud of.
Later experiments with Tom Paulin lead to her inventing Punk rock and the internet.
During the 1980's, Professor Von Darkness returned to Sheffchester (Now renamed Sheffield) where she listened to quite a lot of records and dressed oddly for her own amusement.
In 1994, shortly before the launch of the Supertram, Professor Von Darkness uncovered plans to send the pope to the moon in order to bless the harpoons of the cybermen living on the dark side. Being a decent human being, Professor Von Darkness put a stop to this by sitting on her roof every night with a big shotgun. After a while, she realised this was very time-consumeing and employed three hairy russian women to do it for her.
Professor Von Darkness still lives in Sheffield with Princess Benjo Banjo. She drinks in the Nelson, Dances at Batfink and prefers to travel by Megabus
give d00mw0lf more *HUGS*
Get your own damn hugs
Ms. Von Darkness likes making new
fiends friends. Add her.
you can go now
MY journal. mmkay? Show some goddamn respect.
If you have no intention of saying anythng
nice or interesting, kindly bugger off.
I'm as stubborn as hell.
Please bear this in mind if you're damn fool
enough to try and tell me i'm worng about anything.
I'm just a glitter whore piece of trash for Robin Black & the Intergalactic Rock Stars.
if you really loved me, you'd buy me stuff from my wislist.
|Interests:||150: alexander veljanov, alice cooper, alien sex fiend, antiquated electronics, apoptygma berzerk, asp, backcombing, backyard babies, batfink, bats, bauhaus, being a pirate, being silly, bif naked, bill bailey, black, black books, blind before dawn, blurty, bob dylan, boots, caffeene, canada, captain sensible, carl mccoy, clogs, coca-cola, commander keen, crazylife, crispin kiss-penguin, curedrinks, d00mw0lf, dancing, de/vision, dead ringers, deadjournal, deathrock, deine lakaien, depeche mode, diary of dreams, dir en grey, doc martens, doctor who, douglas adams, dressing up, drivelbox, ed alleyne-johnson, elvis, eric the phantom, europe, everfink, eyeliner, fields of the nephilim, futurama, german, germany, ghost of lemora, gj, goteki, goth, gothic, greatestjournal, grinn, hhgttg, james ray, james ray's gangwar, jaz coleman, joolz, joolz denby, journals, jumping on rope bridges, karlzars, killing joke, lacrimosa, lipstick, livejoural clones, livejournal, lj, ljdrama, london, makeup, manchester, mark manning, ned's atomic dustbin, new disease, new model army, new rocks, nfd, nod wright, pirates, poundshops, princess benjo banjo, project pitchfork, punk, purple electric violins, qntal, red, red bull, red sky coven, red20, rhombus, robert rankin, robin black, robin fucking black, roger o'donnel, rollercoasters, ross noble, rush, sack trick, samoyed dogs, samoyeds, satatam, scarehead, screaming banshee aircrew, sex gang children, sheep on drugs, sheffgoth, sheffield, siouxsie and the banshees, sisters of mercy, specimen, spike milligan, terry pratchett, the 80's, the cramps, the cult, the cure, the damned, the gemini, the goons, the misfits, the mission, the nephilim nod, the sisterhood, the stranglers, the uk subs, the vibrators, the wildhearts, therapy?, tigertailz, tilo wolff, tommy cooper, toy dolls, veljanov, vice squad, voltaire, wayne hussey, zen motel, zodiac mindwarp, zombina and the skeletones|
|Friends:||17: bbhotstuff, cybergoth, dos_games, dravenmoreou, eludia, funeralempire, |g_money, jo_the_hoe, miss_europa, pixioto, rockin_awesome, shesinparties, smoking_poetry, xscreamx, _deathrock_, _goth_, _oldschool_
|Friend of:||6: eludia, funeralempire, ixifaerydustixi, nikimeow, shesinparties, smoking_poetry|
|Member of:||49: 18_over_punks, 77punk, 80schildren, absentia, add_me_im_goth, alternativemail, bbhotstuff, blurtydesigners, britpunk, claim_me, communities, communityads, comm_newbie, cybergoth, design_wonder, dos_games, eddieizzard, egl, emily_strange, foundobjects, gacktjob_, gakkun_, gamergirls, gothic_faces, gothic_girls, hello_kitty_fan, html_help, icons4you, joinmeindeath, jrock, kissedbyastar, layouts_comm, layoutwhore, lay_me_out, lovecats, maliceluv, new_wave, obscuredvanity, rainbow_brite, sanrioicons, surveysluts, swap_headphones, synthpop_inc, the_endless, thingie, tim_burton, _deathrock_, _oldschool_, _suckthis|
|Account type:||Early Adopter|