| Current mood: |  confused |
I don't know how much more of Ellen I can take. She is a fucking nightmare. Always ordering me around and manipulating things to go her own way. And yet when I try telling her to fuck off, I always give up. I can't. I adore her, even though she treats me like shit.
I feel awful arguing again. Sometimes I just want it all to go away. I can't live without her, so the only way out is death, but she'd be pissed off at me for dying. I give up. I can't not care, but I don't want to.
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