Jeremiah Mari G. Carag (znobby) wrote, @ 2004-08-28 23:29:00

Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	Home by Bryan McKnight

Without the Pain and Agony
To all those who read my previous journal and to those who have offered their prayers for my grandfather, my heartfelt gratitude.  After I wrote the first entry, my grandfather was operated and after a day in the ICU was already confined to a regular room in the hospital.  My grandfather was able to recuperate from the operation.  In fact, as soon as he woke up, he looked for his watch and complained that he has not been eating for four straigh days (he was under observation so no food intake - dextrose only).  This means that he still is very much aware of what has been happening for the past few days.

However, we were not as glad to hear the other news.  According to the doctor, though the operation was able to remove the tumor, my grandfather has already been diagnosed with colon cancer.  Though this is the case, we are not aware of the stage of the cancer or how far the cancer has already spread because in order to do this, a biopsy must be made.  The doctor did not recommend a biopsy anymore since this will increase the "opening" that has been made through the last operation and my grandfather may not be able to recover from such due to his age (he is already 80 years old).  Chemotherapy is another no-no since this might even hasten my grandfather's death. 

We are visiting him tomorrow and I don't know how I will be able to greet him without that sorrow in my face considering that (according to my relatives who already visited him) my grandfather is in a very positive and happy state.  In fact, he is looking forward to his release in the hospital next week.  We did not inform him about his sickness since this will only psychologically ruin his last moments on earth (it is so hard typing this part - sob....)

Anyway, again thank you for all your prayers.  Hopefully, you will still include him in your prayers by asking God not to prolong the pain and agony that he may be feeling in the near future (he is still not experiencing the intense pain since this usually happens when the tumor has already spread). 

To God, thank you for making my grandfather a vital part in my life.  I grew up with my grandfather and whatever I am now, I owe it to him.  I would be forever grateful for putting me under the care of a very hardworking, god-fearing, and brave man.  I will surely miss him but I know that he will be happier with You and my grandma.

starfilled 2004-08-29 11:11 (link)

I love that song. I listen to it when I’m sad and it never fails to cheer me up. :) Anyway, I'm glad that your family's able to cope well with the situation. Even if your Lolo accidentally finds out about his sickness, I’m sure he won’t be too lonely coz his family loves him dearly and never leaves his side. So don’t worry much. God has great plans for your Grampa. He'll be in good Hands.ü (Reply to this) (Thread)