Sporadic musings of a girl shaped person (zingiber) wrote, @ 2006-02-16 10:38:00

This Has Nothing to do with Valentines Day, Although it May Seem Like it
It really bugs me that the communities link doesn't work any more. It's sloppy.... But I'm not going to fix it cause I'm lazy.

Story of my life really... I remember having an epiphany walking past a vase of dead flowers. 'All my relationships are like this' I thought.

My boyfriend of the time used to buy me flowers whenever I'd confront him about anything. "Hey! I'm feeling neglected at the moment; can we spend some time together?" He'd change the subject and sure enough, whithin a couple days, I'd get flowers.
Fool that I am (or maybe artist that I am...yes. I like that much better) I'd go "oooo....so pretty!" and forget all about feeling lonely.

A vase of fresh flowers on the table is a beautiful thing; vibrant, alive. Blah, blah. All those descriptives. Then after awhile, the heads start to drop. Petals fall off. You have to clear up the mess left on the table. They turn from beauty to dried-up shrivel. The flowers really should be thrown out cause they're starting to smell like skanky swamp water, but the thing is, they used to be so lovely!
It's not until there's no trace of flower left at all that you accept their death and throw them out and return the vase to the cupboard.

I seem to hang on to my relationships hoping that I'll wake up one morning and walk out to a vase of beautiful flowers again.

Never happens.

Anyway... I don't know where I thought I was going with this, so like that old boyfriend, I'll change the subject.

I have a new job. well, new as in October of last year new. I'm a youth worker now, which is great. I really love it! I work with teenagers from disadvantaged backgrounds. I was going to have a little rant about it, but I might save that for a different day.
For now, it's enough to say that I'm doing something worthwhile and I like it. Hooray!

	giish 2006-02-16 10:05 (link)
	I wish you were around more, missy (Reply to this) (Thread)

	zingiber 2006-02-16 16:40 (link)
	Thanks Gishy. I've said it before and been wrong, but I'm going to try to be this year. I likes it here. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	claudiusmaximus 2006-02-23 14:11 (link)
	Worthwhile things are good :) I've mostly been doing geek+art stuff, it keeps me out of mischief, but I do feel like I'm missing out on the real world sometimes. Then I spy some shiny new algorithm and go off art with it for another while and forget all my cares. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	zingiber 2006-03-07 21:39 (link)
	It's nice to have things to inspire you isn't it? :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Yes, yes it is... claudiusmaximus 2006-03-08 11:52 (link)
	...but maybe there's too much inspirational material out there, sometimes it's overwhelming! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psyclone 2006-03-06 22:43 (link)
	Wow. was wondering what happened to you. I guess I go for long stretches without posting too though... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	zingiber 2006-03-07 21:37 (link)
	yeah. I read your most recent post and was going to reply; then I became shy... Anyway, I hope you're feeling a bit better. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)