Sporadic musings of a girl shaped person (zingiber) wrote, @ 2004-03-02 18:01:00

Current music:

Lisa Germano - From a Shell

Past is past
I've been trying to write about uni since Tuesday. It's turned out to be harder than giving birth. Yeah, I've never actually done that, but I imagine it's kinda tricky......

It's not the actual going that's bothering me. I can't figure out if any of it is really bothering me at all. It's just a little surreal I suppose.

For years now, I've been fighting against the whole 'university experience.' My parents had decided before I was even born, that I was destined for university life and a career of greatness (or at least a career). That's why I'm an only child. That's why I was never aloud to have a job during high school. I needed to concentrate on study.

But then I foiled their plans in a big way by dropping out of high school early to gain what I affectionately like to call 'Life Experience.' In retrospect, it wasn't the best decision I could have made. But it was my decision, and that's what mattered at the time. I still don't regret that. I've learned a lot since then, and as a result, developed coping skills that I never would have otherwise.

I was a freak in high school; especially towards the end there. Emotionally, I was a mess. Friends would say hello and I'd burst into tears. I was such a perfectionist and I was failing. That was my worst nightmare. So I dropped out instead of getting help. I made the mistake of believing that if I asked for help I'd be admitting weakness and that it would kill me!

I've gotten much better at asking for help and 'fessing up' to the fact that I don't know everything before I learn it. So my life experience has been worth it in that respect. I think that if I had continued onto university straight out of high school, I would have failed. What an expensive mistake that would have been!

So anyway, my point was, there's a whole lot of background info bubbling away under my feelings about university. All that aside, living in the Here and Now, I'm excited about it. I know it will change my life. The Ginger of 2006 will look back on the Ginger that I am now, affectionately shaking her head and rejoicing in how far she's come.

	lunar_dolphin 2004-03-04 07:19 (link)
	*proud of you* ;) (Reply to this) (Thread)

future is now saygoodbye 2004-03-04 08:39 (link)

We all make mistakes and even things others classify as mistakes and we call learning experience. I was on the same mindset that I would not go to uni as soon as I graduated and I didn't. Waiting toooo long is not good but enough to have you find what you want to do and just have some lax time is wonderful. Now you are there and all is new , pick the books up brush off the dust and attack them! You of all people can do this. *is proud of you too* (Reply to this) (Thread)