Yulia (yuliag) wrote, @ 2005-06-20 15:12:00

So sick
I was so sick on the weekend, like you can't even imagine! Well, silly me, of course you can imagine. It's just that I'm the sort of person who doesn't get very sick very often, except for some dance injuries every once in a while. Those injuries I'm so used to, I don't even pay attention to the pain if it's in my joints of muscles (scary, huh?)

Yet, when it comes to feeling *SICK*, I just fall apart. Runny nose and headache, fever and sore throat - they totally bring me down. I'm not good at dealing with them at all. And what's worse than feeling sick? It's being all on your own, isolated in your little apartment... That is the most miserable I've even been, I think! Which of course contributes to feeling like shit.

In addition to everything, I've been feeling so bitchy. I'd get enraged when somebody from work wants something from me. I'm not longer able to see anything good in the people I work with.

Tatiana, for exmple, send me a text message asking how I was feeling. You'd think it was nice of her, but she had spent half the day bugging me by forwarding her phone calls to me. I was only taking some of them - it's Saturday, for god' sake and my throat hurts! My nose if so congested, I sound as if I have a Down syndrome. And then she wants to know how I'm feeling! And that was at midnight! She even said she'd cover for me on Monday if I still feel sick.

Honestly, I just don't want any favors from her. The best thing she can do for me is to disappear from my life. She's a nice person, but she is related to work, and she makes me aggressive. I think sometimes she feels it and that's why she sends me messages rather than calling me. So I was not going to take sick leave, because I'd be bored at home, and because, like I said, I didn't want any favors from Tatiana. After a while it appeared that I'd have to come in on Monday anyway. I'm not surprised at all.

Tatiana keeps giving me advice. A while ago it was nice, but now it's like: Enough! Stop telling me what to do! Do you really think I care that much? And I have to put myself together and smile and tell her very nicely: "Ok, I'll do that. Thank you."

On Sunday, that advice was to get a planner and to keep all my bosses appointments in it. Well, first of all, that is Tatiana's job. Second is I don't care if he misses his appointments... If I get fired for that, fine! I'm sick of your shit anyway. Literally sick. Like I haven't been sick for a long long time!

And then there was another message from her: "Do you have driver's license?"

To make you understand how ridiculous and pointless that question is, I need to explain: Nobody in my family drives. My grandma had a driver before she got retired, so none of us ever had to worry about learning to drive. Now my father has a driver. My mom got a license a long time ago, but never drove. A couple of people had tried to teach me to drive, but that didn't get anywhere. I'm just not a car person, and I think it runs in the family. I'm not comfortable with cars.

When I lived in AK, I sort of got used to being in a car, because of the distances, so it was OK there, but I didn't have a choice. However, it played a part in my decision to leave Alaska - because you can't live a normal life there not being able to drive, and I couldn't drive. I can't even quite explain. In my family, we just don't drive. When I was a little kid, I had a terrible motion sickness desease, and ever since, the smell of cars makes me slightly sick. Basically, I'm pretty sure I'm not ever planning to learn to drive, I don't want to drive, I prefer to spend as much time outside of a motor-vehicle as possible. Same goes for buses. Anything else is fine - trains, metro, airplanes. But automobiles and moi are not compatible in this lifetime.

So Tatiana probably wanted to bring me some good news - that the company would provide me with a car, I just have to get a license. Well, I don't think that's good news. I don't believe that a company will do something that's good for me, the company does what is good for the company. They don't want me to use the metro, because underground my cellphone is out of range, so they can't bug me down there.

I had a terrible weekend, as you can see. I'm still venting. I've done some calculations with my budget and spoke with my landlord. It looks like I can quit my job in November, I'll have my apartment prepaid, so I'll just get a ticket and I'll have a month and a half all to myself to enjoy dance classes, and in the middle of December I'll go home to be there for Christmas. Man, that's still such a long time way...

	bohemiantragedy 2005-06-29 15:02 (link)
	I hope you're feeling better. *hugs* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Moving ladysusan 2005-06-30 20:03 (link)
	Hi, I wanted to let you know that I'm moving to livejournal. Here's my address there: http://www.livejournal.com/~ladysusan118 I hope you feel better. I always forget just how miserable it is to be sick until I actually am--even having a cold feels awful. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	sweet_as_candy_ 2005-07-04 17:32 (link)
	HUGS HUGS HUGS (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: yuliag 2005-07-05 03:14 (link)
	Thank you! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)