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Heather (yellowflmngo15) wrote,
@ 2004-02-01 02:36:00
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    Current mood: infuriated
    Current music:Silver and Cold- AFI

    Wait a can get worse life just got about 50 million times worse then it ever could have been. Ok I'm going to give the full fledge story up close and personal about this convo. Even though I shouldn't I am..Oh well they will get over it. Ok it all started this evening after softball and everything. I get home get on here. I talked to the guy who I liked for awhile actually until 1:07 this morning. Then when he gets ready to leave I tell him I need to talk to one of my used to be best friends, and right then, one of her stupid ass bitches im's me and says "your a fucking bitch" and I am like ugh, who's this? b.c at this point I didn't really care who it was, nor was I ready to cuss them out. So they blocked me for some stupid reason, then me and my used to be friend start talking and it's stupid and petty as I don't know what and it's just annoying me to no end. When I was about to say screw you, she's like I know i'm not being a very good friend(I wonder when she thought that one up) and I think that it's best if we arn't friends now b.c it's not what I want. That is so freaking lame, my dog could come up with better things then that and she can't even talk! Anyways, I listened on, and she said I was greedy. I'm not going to lie about it b.c I know I am greedy but you never get anywhere by giving your whole life to someone else except you feel good about yourself all the time. Well anyways, the conversation continued on. And it's getting pretty bad and she was like don't let what is going on between us now ruin what you and coleman have. And I was like no it won't. I am friends with coleman that's cool and all, and I am moving on and it's not affecting me that much. Well that I left out parts b.c I have a river of jealousy running through my veins like the Mississippi, it's wide and long and deep. But I will get over it after awhile just because that's life and nothing ever goes the way I want it to. But I don't have a lot of control over what I want to happen and so forth. I'm not expecting to, but gosh, someone give me some leeway here. All I want is just to have things so right for once. I'm striving for a better life. I'm working on my faults. But Rome wasn't built in a day!! I swear my friends are dropping like flies if I lose anymore, I won't be able to stand it. I'm really getting worse but since me and my used to be friend stopped being friends it seems like I'm feeling better. Maybe that was my problem all along, she was holding me back. Oh well I don't care I wish them both luck, in the relationship and everything else. I will soon find another hero, haha only in books but hey I can wish can't I? I will find someone to fill this huge hole, someday, maybe not right now but I'm going to stop looking focus on my friends, family and school and I will be alright. Maybe he will just stumble into me in the lunch line, I don't know but it will be a great day when I find him.....oh how the angels will sing when that day comes. Or when I meet a new friend...haha that's always good too. Well well, it's really late and I'm totally drained and unentergized and just feeling over all crappy, so I am going to go to bed, sleep on everything and tomarrow will be so much better. No one is holding me back now, no way no how, nu uh!!! Well g'nite everyone especially my two favorites!!

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oh please
2004-02-01 19:32 (link)
I'm glad that you seem to have such good friends now when you didn't even care last year. When I consider you one of my best friends and then you ditched me to a "gangsta". Friendships seem to be too fake these days and I should have realized that last year before you dropped me right on my ass for no good reason.

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Re: oh please
2004-02-01 20:50 (link)
if you were any kind of person you would actually say who you are but I guess you are just not man or woman enough to do that now are you? So whenever you grow some guts or balls you need to get in contact with me....i'm sure i'll listen if your lucky

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good thinking
2004-02-01 20:03 (link)
You're going the right way, things are going to look up for you, I know they will, but sometimes it takes time, and in that time bad things happen and you learn stuff from them. Then you realize all along, that if you wouldn't have learned that lesson in time, things would still be bad. But I can tell this is what is going to get you through it, you don't need her. I bet the reason you are jealous is because you were talking to her, everytime you thought about her, it made you jealous, and I know from a lot of experience that jealousy is really really hard to overcome. You're such a great person, and you know that I'm always going to be here for you when you need me.


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