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GANGSTAAAA (yearning4you) wrote,
@ 2004-03-04 19:34:00
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    Current mood: disappointed

    I HATE YOU!!!
    Ehh today has been the worst day of my life!!! I thought everything was fine. I really did!! Why can I just let it go!! ERRRRRRR!! Its not freakin fair!! Why out of everyone do I have to go through this. Why cant I get over it!!!!!!!! I just wanna move on and pretend it never happened. I wanna be able to go through a day and not think of it!!! ERRRRR its really really not fair! I cried for the first time in months and months over this damn thing!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    AND..

    I HATE FEELING LEFT OUT AND I HATE IT HOW EVERYONE THINKS THAT EVERYTHING IS OK WHEN ITS NOT....ITS NOT OK AND IT WONT EVER BEE!!!! I HATE HOW LIFE PASSES AND THERE ISNT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! AND I HATE HOW EVERYTHING YOU EVER CARED ABOUT GOES OUT OF THE WINDOW AND COMES BACK BUT ITS NEVER THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND A HATE PEOPLE PRETENDING TO CARE AND THEY DONT...THEY LISTEN THEY GIVE THERE OPINION THEY SAY THEY CARE.. AND IN ALL REALITY THAT REALLY DONT!!! I HATE HOW THINGS NEVER TURN OUT THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TOO!! I HATE NOT BEING LOVED...AND I HATE NOT HAVING SOMEONE I CAN CALL UP TO HANG OUT WITH OR JUST TO TALK TO WHEN THINGS GET HARD AND WHEN I NEED TO VENT... AND I HATE FEELINGS LIKE IM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE... AND I HATE DREAMING BECAUSE DREAMS ARE THING YOU WISH YOU HAD BUT YOU CANT AND ITS LIKE A TAUNT THAT THE DEVIL PUTS IN YOUR HEAD TO SHOW YOU WHAT YOU REALLY CANT HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



    dont u understand? and all i ever wanted was you….and id give the world for you… every star up in the sky for you…



    ------------------------------------------------------


    Oh why cant I be what you need? ..a new improved version of me. but i'm nothing so good, no i'm nothing. Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs of violence of love and of sorrow, i beg for just one more tomorrow where you hold me down, fold me in ...deep deep deep in the heart of your sins. I break in two over you. I break in two, and each piece of me dies and only you can give the breath of life, but you dont see me, you dont. Here i'm in between darkness and light. bleached and blinded by these nights where im tossing and tortured till dawn by you, visions of you then youre gone. the shock lifts the red from my face. when i hear someone's taking my place how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel when all, all that i did was for you.



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