|Current mood:|| lonely|
|Current music:||112 ft. Ciara "If I Hit" Remix|
Well I can't sleep...I really don't want to ..I keep waitin for Em to get online...he hasnot been on for days...and I dunno whats up with him...I feel like he is ignoring me for some odd reason...we had quit talkin but we had remained friends...but I miss him so damn much I dunno what to do...I have tried callin him, but I can never get through. I quit talkin to him b/c I was fallin in love with him. I am not ready for that...I just got divorced a year ago, but I do get lonely... I am still in love with my ex-husband..... my life is so shitty right now....has been for the past 5 yrs.( mom and dad divorced..I got pregnant ..married...got cheated on....divorced..all alone now)but I find myself so confused over Em....he is so diff from me,but he is a good guy...matter of fact a great guy...but it seems like us girls always wants the crappy guys and the good guys mean nothing.I am so cold hearted anymore. I do use guys....not for money..I never ask them to buy me anything...but I do play around with thier feelings..but I am tired of bein shit on....so I guess that I am shittin on every guy that comes along my way and not meanin to. I just can't stand someone clinging to me or followin me everywhere I go.....but sometimes I find myself thinkin that I love him...it all is crazy....I want to talk to him so bad...I need him :(
But anyways.... I have made 1 friend on here so far...lol...but thats good..hopefully she can help me out with this thing..I figured some stuff out ...this lil thing can be so confusing if u have no idea wtf u are doin...like me....lol...I done laundry all day today at my moms and chilled a lil bit with my sis. I have got to get my babys b-day party planned out. It is gettin closer and closer...she is growin up so damn fast....she will be 5 in a month and a half...ahh work is goin ok..I guess....I just hate those damn trainings that they make us go on....ugh......I have to stay away from home 2 days this comin week...I will die...no phones...no tv...nothin but a damn bathroom and bed in our rooms. I hope it gets cancelled b/c of the snow. YAY I LOVE the SNOW....b/c it gets me out of work....lol...I started to go clubbin tonight with my best friend but the roads where way to bad, and besides I am broke.....my bills are eatin me up alive. I love the quotes that everyone puts on "hella_quotes" they are so awesome and everyone does a really great job by making some up. I get tired of goin to these quote sites where every damn thing is the same. Well not at that place. It rocks. Well I am out later!!!!!!!!!!!
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