| Current mood: |  distressed |
| Current music: | early novembers... & AHA take on me |
make your way down the face of everything we know
Dont let it get to you... its not worth it.
Is it?
the glances, the feel of uncoming tears, is it worth feeling your heart tear into two every day?
Is it worth the feelings of lonilness of worthlessness. Is it worth it to love anyone?
No, it isn't, not when they dont love you in return, not when they dont care, not when you know you will never have them. The pain of wanting something unattainable is not worth wanting it. Give up already you stupid little heart. Stop trying to believe that someday they will care, stop it already. Why do I even care? Sometimes I dont, but somedays I am concerned, and I want to be with them but... no, I have to stop this. I have to stop loving them. They dont care, so neither should I.
And I am tired of people who cut for attention, and I hate those that immediatly assume if someone cuts its for attention. I am tired of being silent about it... When people start saying "so-and-so cuts for attentiont they are so moronic" I hate having to be quiet because how the hell is sheltered little me supposed to understand cutting?? Yea, so I kinda tried today, but had to back off dont want them to think that I might cut. no not that. Also the person in question may have been cutting for attention, so I didnt know if I should have even bothered. Kinda doesnt matter, the people I was talking too have a set veiw of things that is usually impossible to change. I just can't stand all of this, those people need help. Yea 'those people' I dont include myself because I am fine, therapy won't help me anyway.
That's right I am fine. I havent cut in awhile only burned but I can only handle that in small amounts. So there has not been any real damage done in awhile :-D But right now I want to bleed, badly lots and lots of blood. no real reason why, and I wont, I just want too. Argh I really want to cut...... and burn. But I CANT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I have to change for gym now so cutting up my stomach is no longer an option like during swim season... BAH. I want to tear it all open again... and... but... no. Guess I am stuck here at the computer away from all knives/sharp objects/matches/lighters until this urge passes. bleh. I'm tired too. oh well this is for the best.
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