| Current mood: |  pissed off |
| Current music: | Bauhaus |
Another Entry From 12/7/04
Jessica is really starting to piss me off! What doesn't she get!? I don't want her to fucking be like me! The fucking poser! "But all she's ever done was love me!" Fuck her and her love! I can't believe I ever had a crush on her! I'm not fucking naive... I read through people quite easily, plainly knowing their ways and motives. I choose to look past them until I just can't fucking take it anymore! That's why I'm not good with friends. One minute I like them, and then the next I want them to fucking rot in pieces! Why!? Because people = shit. I wish everyone else but Drew would die. Even though some people are tolerable, they're still PEOPLE! I don't think anybody really understands the extent to which I hate humanity for simply existing! This hate is consuming me. My love for Drew outnumbers my hatred for everything else...so I guess it's evenly fair right? Fuck it! I don't give a fuck if it's fair or even right... It's how it is... Why can't things be okay? Why can't I just be with Drew and be happy? I won't have time to hate while I'm constantly showing him love. Sometimes I'm scared of my own fucking self. I am scared that the other side of me will take over and I will lose control of this me. It's so hard to hold on sometimes... I'm constantly fighting myself. Drew is the only thing that makes me win the fucking war....
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