ok. this is in response to those comments. Of whom I do not know who the other people are. And I would love to know, so please tell me.
I want you to read that over again with an OBJECTIVE point of view and realize that I blame no one but myself for anything that has happened. When I said " I'm the dumbest person I know. I have no fucking self control." I don't think I was blaming anyone. Actually the only time I MENTIONED danielle was this: "Having my best friend who is supposed to just HELP me in my time of need, just tells me I have to take responsibility. WELL IM NOT FUCKING RESPONSIBLE" If anything, that is just putting myself down. All I was saying that if Danielle did not want to bring me she could have just said so. Brian is bringing me now. And Danielle has not been in my good graces since that night w/ Ursula. My frustration with her has been for a while now and I am not comfortable with it. She says she -doesn't- talk to people. She used to talk to me. I would have put my life on the line fore her. I poured my heart and soul out when she *decided* we shouldn't be friends. And I thought I needed her because she -understood-. But I have friends who don't quite -understand- me, but instead of making me feel worse about myself they show me why I should be happy. I don't k now. I guess I really DONT go well with pisces. All I'm saying is that I don't need someone to tell me my faults. I know them already. I am blissful in my ignorance and choose not to CHANGE what is wrong with me but just deal with it and if people don't like my *problems* then they don't have to be my friend. You act as if I don't want to be a *good* person. You act as if you have the right to judge me. You act as if you understand how me and danielle's relationship was. This goes out to the other comments: you have no IDEA how I feel/felt and have no right to express your opinion over the internet when I have NO idea who you are. yeah. If you want to express your opinion. Say it to ME.
Look. Danielle helped me grow in many ways. But right now. I'm not liking her. I'm not liking the way she treats anyone. And she can blame it on whatever mental illness that she chooses and I don't care because it's HER mental illness that I CANNOT deal with. Call me immature. But that's reality and call me selfish. But truth is. I LOVE to make people happy. But I can't make people smile unless I can smile. And I'm willing to let go a an AMAZING friend that makes me sad, that won't let me make her happy. SO I can be friends with other AMAZING friends who don't drag me down.
really. I'm not ok. But I'm gonna fix my life. Cassie, you watch. :D
I really really love my friends that have done NOTHING but help me and I love you. I love Danielle too. I really do. And if one day she came up to me and asked me for anything, even a hug, I'd give it to her. But I can't deal with this right now.
And those people who left comments. IM me, or comment with your name please.
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(Anonymous)
2004-01-13 13:46
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there is SO much drama in the life of a sophmore that is not needed! Most of this is unessesary. i dunno y there is all this drama when were ONLY 15 and 16 years old! i have VERY little to no drama in my life and im very happy. so just fuck it all. its all bullshit. dont cause controversy, just go with the flow and have a good time. dont care what other people think or say, thats what i do and im happy as hell.
P.S. anyone need any green call the cell. peace.
-GrAz-
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