Willa Ford (xo_willa) wrote, @ 2003-08-06 22:27:00

I think every parent spends their days hoping that their children never have to go anything that will bring them sadness or pain. Hearing that there is something your child can never change that might bring them pain is the worst feeling you'll ever have. Ever.

For the past week or so I've been watching Lily. I was noticing that she didn't respond to sound only touch. She slept through everything and never got upset by loud noises. Christophers crying never got her riled up. Yesterday we went to Disneyworld. As we were entering the parking lot we got honked at. Christopher flipped out, Lily slept. We went on our rides and then we sat down to watch the fireworks. Christopher again, freaked out. Bawling and screaming like mad. Lily, didn't flinch.

I had to tell Chris finally about what i'd been afraid to admit. He wanted to take her right then and there to the hospital, so we went. After a bunch of tests and a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo we heard words we never thought we'd hear. . . "Lily is deaf."

I flipped out. Not because shes deaf. Because I know that she isn't going to be treated like other kids. Because I know that she is going to get teased. Becuase I know Christopher is going to have to work twice as hard to stand up for his sister. Becuase I'm afraid Christopher will resent her at times. There are so many things that will hurt her as a result of her being deaf and I can't handle that. I don't want to see my child in pain. I dont want to sit at home with her while she cries because she has a crush on a boy and he doesnt like her because she's deaf. I spent the whole night crying. I cried all in my sleep. I woke up this morning looked in Lily's eyes and I ran to the bathroom. I vomited and fell into a fit of tears again. I just see the innocence in her eyes and I dont want to see her upset ever.

Chris and I talked alot today. We are going to start learning sign language and teaching Christopher sign language now. We're going to some specialists and spend time looking at facilities and what not to make sure that we give her every opportunity she wants to take. I love my daughter. I love her more than life itself, and I never want to see her in pain. . .

luckybasstard 2003-08-07 01:50 (link)

Willa, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Chris, and take from it what you will because I can't know what you're going through. Lily'll go through some tough obstacles, yes, but she's going to be a strong one. I can tell just by looking at her parents. She's the daughter of two singers, but she'll understand what it is you do when she sees you on stage, when she sees the expressions of the fans when they watch you. She'll see the world that none of us can. And she'll be a great person because of it. You have a beautiful daughter who is healthy. You have her. And she'll still be able to tell you she loves you. And know that we're here for you when ever you need someone. By the way, I dunno if he left or not, but your husband's trying to catch some sleep on the floor of our home office. Uh. Just letting you know. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	xo_willa 2003-08-07 12:21 (link)
	Thank you sweetie. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luckybasstard 2003-08-07 20:56 (link)
	*hugs you* You're family. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

chriskeeto 2003-08-07 03:19 (link)

she's gonna be alright...i know it's so hard right now, but she will. i know she will. she's so strong, she has your blood in her. i love you so much, we're gonna make it through this. and we have all our friends who are there for us. it's gonna be a struggle but we'll make it, we're going to be alright. she's so beautiful and so smart, everyone falls in love with her at first sight. christopher will be alright. i can already tell how much he loves her, he's going to stick up for her all the time. he'll take good care of her when we can't, i know it i love you babygirl (Reply to this) (Thread)

	xo_willa 2003-08-07 12:21 (link)
	i love you (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luca_bella 2003-08-07 06:18 (link)
	auntie wiwwa...does this mean i cant play soccer wif wiwy anymore? -she frowns and walks away sadly- (Reply to this) (Thread)

	xo_willa 2003-08-07 12:20 (link)
	No baby you can still teach her to play soccer, but you'll have to learn some sign language first so that you can talk to her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)