Orlando Bloom (xo_orlando_ox) wrote, @ 2003-07-30 06:52:00

Current mood:	sad
Current music:	On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men

Walking through this journey alone...
Where should I start off, this has been the most depressing and stressing day of my life. I mean once in my life I actually found someone who really loved me for me, who I am from the inside and out. The love of my life, the one who I want live my life through the fullest days by walking in this world with her has now left me. And now I'm here alone in the world, walking through this journey alone. It happened like a thunderstrike, in an instant I was really happy, really in love and then after a blink of an eye, everything was taken away from me. I can't make excuses of what happened and I have to accept the fact that I cheated. I don't even want to explain it because I've got messages by people and responses of how I'm a scum of the earth. *shakes head and bites lip*

I couldn't sleep last night especially when I realized I slept in the bed while Christina slept on the couch. I don't deserve to sleep on the bed and I would of rather slept outside, in the cold where I belong. I had a nightmare where my foot was covered in concrete and I see Christina calling out for my name, for help, and I tried all I can to try to help her but I couldn't and then I see people, who I don't want to give out their names, making fun of me. *tries to hold out from crying* I guess I deserve this nightmare and more to come. But even though I don't deserve the people who are helping me through this, I feel that they are in my life for one thing, as my friends, my brothers and sisters, my love ones. Chris Carrabba, Jani, Lena, and Lance, thank you for your guidance and your lending shoulder during this time of my weakness, I love you guys with all my heart. *sighs and looks over to the mountains* I hope God isn't playing with me by placing me in this beautiful place with everything life has to offer except for the love of my life. *sighs* I miss her already, I love her with all my heart and soul and I wish I can turn the hands of time and correct everything but I can't. I'm sorry for everything and to everyone and I've tried talking to some people but they already had their minds set to a conclusion. I hope I can talk to her and I hope we can patch things up because that's what I really want to do.



On Bended Knee
by Boyz II Men

Darlin' I can't explain
Where did we lose our way
Girl it's drivin' me insane
And I know I just need one more chance
To prove my love to you
If you come back to me
I'll guarantee
That I'll never let you go

Chorus:
Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how you get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight
I know I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

Chorus

Gonna swallow my pride
Say I'm sorry
Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me
I want a new life
And I want it with you
If you feel the same
Don't ever let it go
You gotta believe in the spirit of love
It can heal all things
We won't hurt any more
No I don't believe our love's terminal
I'm down on my knees begging you please
Come home

Chorus

Wanna build a new life
Just you and me
Gonna make you my wife
Raise a family....

(Reply from suspended user)

	xo_orlando_ox 2003-07-31 11:17 (link)
	Best Friends forever Lena...Always... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	=/... halogingerx 2003-07-30 13:50 (link)
	I'm sorry things like this happened to you guys. I really do hope you guys get together because you both seemed so happy...and I'm really sorry this happened to you guys. Anyway I'm here if you need to talk. Feel better... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_simplypierre_ 2003-07-30 15:47 (link)
	Orlando..I'm sorry for going off on you. I treated myself worse when I dumped her. I just hate her going through shit...she doesn't deserve it. I know..you know. But I'm sorry. I was just stuck with the fact she was hurt I guess I didn't want to take your feelings into consideration. I don't expect your forgiveness but I'll just feel better knowing I apologized. (Reply to this) (Thread)

xc_aguilerax 2003-08-01 23:09 (link)

*lets a tear fall down her cheek* orlando this sucks what happened, and the thing is, i can't take you back...i...i can't. what happened hurt me so badly, that i can't even forgive you for right now. i can accept your apology and i will, but i can't be your girlfriend. i love you, and i always will, but a relationship between you and i can't happen anymore. i'm sorry for hurting you, please forgive me for that. i want us to stay friends, and work back the trust that we once held for each other. what could have been, could have been great, but now we will never know, and i'm sorry for that. this pain that is inside me, it just won't go away, maybe my gut feeling...but it is staying with me. *whispers* i'll always love you...*wipes away the tears as she runs to the bathroom to throw up* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	hotcocoskie 2003-08-06 18:56 (link)
	dont know how i got to your J but great song :) (Reply to this) (Thread)