|Current mood:|| mellow|
|Current music:||The Early November-Ever So Sweet|
i think this is going to be my last entry...at least for a long while. this journal mainly consisted of things to help me deal with colin. i'm over the drama of him and thats something new. things have gotten easier. i realize some people arent the people you thought they were or theyve changed. i think i needed to see him at the mall. i think it helped as some sort of closeure..well not the one i wanted but at least its some type of one.i never got to say everything i needed to. but thats alright. i also needed him to tell his gf and have her friend yell at me for no good reason. yeah i did need that. i had some fun times with him plus other people that ill never forget. but im ready to leave that in the past along with everything else to do with him and make it all just a distant memory. i need to find a good man. thats what i need i dont need some boy in a mans body. i guess ive come to terms with everything. maybe i do still care a little. but im proud of myself. ive come a long way. this whole thing has just made me mature a little more. im over it. im over everything for the most part. i guess it helped in the end that he was an asshole so that way he wouldnt be worth someone to miss even tho i will admit i miss him sometimes. i dont really have too much animosity left for him or vengefulness. im at peace for the most part. i think this will help me with guys and my feelings in the future. so i guess all i have to say is thank you. if your reading this which i know your probably not but...thanks...thank you for all those fun times and nights, robinson, the makeout sessions (and a little more), the party, the car ride, the nights where you made a drunk fool out of yourself which i can still laugh about, the times you listened to my problems (or maybe that was just pretend), the hugs, the kisses, being an asshole, teaching me many new lessons...more than i can even type, helping me discover a lot of new things with out even intending to, hurting me...a lot, the lies, the games, blocking me which ha...does help believe me, using me, all of this...has helped me as a person and helped me mature more. so i thank you colin murray. it may sound odd to thank you for all that but in the long run it all helped me out. i'll never forget the good times tho. the porch nights. most memorable to me. i guess ill always miss that...miss you a little. but i guess thats normal like everything and everyone else people miss from their past. i guess you were just something passing. something not ment to last. im not gonna hurt anymore...ill never forget colin murray and everything i have learned from this whole experience...i leave you now with a few ending quotes....
"i shall miss this thing when it all rolls by"
"Ever so sweet...you make this seem the way things go its not my fault and I'll miss I'll miss you so good through all of those nights we lost our way back home"
"im over the the drama of you and thats something new"
"As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye as I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye my foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now you wanted the best, it wasn't me"
goodbye Colin. Goodbye journal.
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