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The life of a gothic faerie (xgothicfaeriex) wrote,
@ 2002-11-16 16:36:00
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    Current mood:sad

    tommorow has to be better than today
    the girl prepares for her pain a year in advance... to make sure her bones won't be broken.. and that her scars never show.. but they always show.. and someone cries... she hurts others more than she hurts herself when she does little lines...

    it's time to go to 2 graveyards soon.. one for a friend.. one because im being called.. just when she thinks she's strong.. she falls down again.. and a person she really wants to care.. seems vacant to her.. that person cares.. but doesn't know a thing about her.. and they all come falling down.. tear's on my skin.. tear's.. that i can't cry.. i do cry.. on days like this..

    black hole please stop swallowing me... im a good girl.. i want to be a good girl.. a pretty girl.. more than just a peice of ass.. (not saying people in my life treat me like that.. but.. i've been treated like that so many times before).. it makes one feel like a whore.. i get used in many different ways.. i feel it's my duty to make other people happy no matter what.. why do i do this to myself? i must stand up for me..

    i want something more than..i don'tknow.. and maybe that's me being a woman.. but i want to be important.. i want to be special.. i want to be someone that people love and remember as a good person.. and im afraid to die being a girl like this.. i hate myself on days like today... i don't want to hate myself.. i try very hard not to.. sometimes i feel less than existence itself..

    would i find freedom from a bridge? ... (only for a moment...then it'd be hell.. i'd be.. in a darker state of being).. so i keep fighting..

    be with me because you care... about me.. get to know me.. be interested.. let me in to see your light.. the comfort comes after the fight.. im going to sing loudly.. and clean the hell out of my room.. maybe if that's clean.. then i will be too..

    could you ever love a girl like me?



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