| Current mood: | fine |
| Current music: | `* Blue & Yellow//The Used |
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it..
OK, wow, Britney's going to get deep right now because she can't keep her happy mask on forever. This entry is more for my benefit, to get thoughts out. So either skip it or suffer.
I thought I told you to go away! >:O! Kidding.
I stayed up last night and thought a lot. Today too. About shit that's been getting me down, about past things, about people in my life, about my decisions and their outcomes. It all narrowed down to one thought: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And I believe that, wholeheartedly. In fact, I'm gonna start living by that. It's my new philosophy, or some fancy shit like that. I believe that in some aspects of life, I've been missing out. Because I'm too afraid. Because I've lost my ambition. Because I've lost my drive. And I can't afford to have those things gone missing. I can't sit around and dwell on things.
Life is short, life moves fast. I learn more and more about myself every single day. Things I never knew. One decision can change your whole path. That's another funny thing. Isn't it weird how you're so sure you're going down one path..I mean like, so insanely positive that you're going that one way - only to have the rug pulled out from under your feet? Kinda sends you crashing back to reality. Maybe I've been needing a good dose of reality, who knows. But it's happened so many times, and it helps me to realize that not everything is going to go my way. I don't always win, I shouldn't always get my hopes up, some things are gonna kick me in the ass and I have to regain the guts to kick back. Shit happens, and I just have to learn to deal with it, however hard it may be. I just think I'm going to start being more careful. Because once I lose my balance, I'm gone.
Life is a learning experience, and I think I have to make mistakes. I just wish I wouldn't make so many of them. But I really can't help that, I'm an accident prone individual. Everything I touch falls apart. Well, that was an exaggeration, but it seems like I can't do anything right these days, I can't say the right things. I think I need to get back to work, and fast. My mistake right now, is sitting here in front of the computer for days on end when I should probably be out doing something not as gloomy as staying in this house by myself. I think I'll go out and party tonight, something fun, something I haven't done in a long time. No restrictions, no worries, nothing. Just fun. Something to help me escape this little slump I've been in that just popped up out of nowhere. Because what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. ..Right?
