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Not really in the mood for bitching coz i'm not angry but i just need to get some stuff out. Well its been 2 weeks and 4 days since Simon and i broke up. I've handled it really well but i spose thats expected coz i broke it off. I dont feel the need to be with him again which is great. we've only spoken about 3 times on the phone so i dont really know how he's feeling but we had one long chat which was great and i was so relieved that i could tell him how i felt. Dad has gone back to the phillipines to see analou and luisa. they are coming back when he does. i really dont want a baby sister. and i dont want a new mum either. she wont be a mum to me she will be like a sister too. dad will spoil them not me. he is giving the baby my room. i havent styed there in abotu a year now but its still my room with my stuff in it and my bed. just because me and dad havent been so close but i'm sure i will want to use it soon. too bad i guess. its not fair. i asked him abotu it the day before he left then the next morning he smsed me and sed that he can change on of the other rooms into another bedroom, and that i will always be his number one girl not the other 2. i feel like he loves them more tho. they are new and more exciting. its not fiar i've been with him longest. i've know him 15 years analou has only known him 1yr and luisa only 4months. i dont think he realises how much it hurts me to know i cant be his only girl anymore. they will have their own little family and in another 2 years time luisa will have a brother or sister and dad will have another baby. dan and kat are together. luisa and yet to be made are together. i have no one. i am an only child to dad and mum. i will have 4 half siblings. they have eachother but i have no1. i dont fit in anywhere.
SARAH IF U READ THIS PLEASE DONT TELL SIMON ANY OF THE STUFF I SAY HERE ABOUT HIM
well yeh i wasnt upset before i started writing but now i have tears in my eyes. not coz of simon coz of dad. i miss simon. i miss dad. they were teh 2 most important guys in my life now i have neither of them. well guys suck anyway i dont need them. why do they always hurt me? i will find someone though. not right now but i know there is someone better out there for me....
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