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I've brought this super good book off the internet a couple of days ago. It's called "Professional group therapy for dumbies". I've been reading it and I've learned loads of good stuff from it! So to test out what I've learned, I decided to take all the Westlife lads (including myself) and give them some nice healthy group therapy. Let me tell you it wasn't easy. They are a rowdy bunch, but I think I did an excellent job, this being my first time and all. You never know, I just might become a Professional therapist once the group is over. >;) Me: Ok lads, you might be wondering why I gathered you all here today. Bryan: For Craic's fuck Nicky! I was relaxing at my house having a beer and you call me over your flat saying it is an emergancy! Mark: What is the emergancy?!? Shane: That's what I wanna know! *glares at me* Kian: Sshhhh!! Let my twin finish what he was saying! Me: Thank you Kiano. It is an emergancy, erm, sort of. I brought us here to do some...group therapy. Bryan: Fuck no! Me: Oh, fuck yes! *lmao* Mark: Ah, this is stupid! I rushed over here so Nicky could try to be like his loony ex-therapist?! *starts to get up* Me: Sit your arse down Markeeno! I have locked all the doors, no one is leaving until this therapy session is through. Believe me, I'll have you wimps crying towards the end of this. Shane: *sighs* Kian: This is gonna be fun! *smiles* Me: Let's start off with Bry. Do you have any emotional feelings you'd like to talk about? *gets out pen and paper* Bryan: What the fuck! Ofcourse I don't. Mark: I think Bry's got some "anger issues" he must sort out. Shane: He does scare me sometimes. *pouts* Kian: He will need loads of therapy to cure is "anger issues", *nods* Me: Hmm, I see. So what makes you angry Bry? Is it Holly? Our diets? Louis? Stress? Tell me. Bryan: You all are gonna die later on!! *grrrr* Shane: He's getting angry again! Mark: *sobs-rocks back and fourth* Kian: I think Bry is hiding his emotions from us. Me: I have to agree, my twiny makes a good point. Open up to us Bry, we are you mates. Come on. Bryan: Nicky, how about I take that pen and shove it up y- Me: Ok, moving on! *trys to smiles* So, Markeeno, tells about your lucky tennis racket. Mark: It has gone missing! *sobs more* Shane: *Zzzzzz...* Kian: *slaps Shane awake* Shane: What?? Where am I? *wipes his drool* Bryan: *sarcastic* We are in hell and Nicky is our therapist. Mark: Why isn't anyone listening to me and my problems!? Me: I'm sorry, what did you say Markeena?? *grins* Mark: YOU GUYS TOOK MY RACKET! *points to me and Kiano* Kian: Whhat!? We are innocent Markeena!! Bryan: Oh sure, I have anger issues. Look at the twat right there freaking out about his damn tennis racket! *shakes head* Shane: How come no one asking me about my feelings? Aren't I important too!? Bryan: No. *grins* Me: Markeena, I need you too calm down! If you get anymore worked up, I might be forced to punch you in the face. Bryan: I'll do that for you! Kian: Dodebedodeeo... Shane: I feel ignored by you guys. Like I'm not a part of the group or something. *pouts more* Bryan: *smirks* I'm not wearing any boxers. Mark: It was my favorite tennis racket too!! *sniffs* Me: Thanks Bry, you may have possibly given us all nightmares for the rest of our lives. Mark for the last time, calm down! And Shane quit your moaning! Kian: Um. Markeena keeps threatening to hurt me and my family if I don't return his racket. *is scared* Me: That's it! Markeena, to the corner!! And you better hope I don't get Tasho to lock you up back in her cupboard! Mark: *pouts and walks over and has a seat by the corner* Bryan: Mmm...boobies girl Kian: *grins and nods* Shane: I have feelings as well! I mean, I might not always want to share them with you guys, but I have a lot on my chest I want to get off. *rambles on* Bryan: Oh, shut your face! Be like the rest of us and think of good things. Like Tash's boobs. Me: *daysdreams-snaps out of it-coughs* Anyway, we will now play the name game. Mark: *calls out from the corner* I love that game! Me: Shut it Markeena! So, I say one of our names and everybody else says a word about that person that pops into their heads. Ready? Shane. Kian: Weird. Bryan: Twat. Mark: *from the corner* Emotional loon! Shane: Cool dude. Me: No Shane, you cannot comment on yourself! I'd say you're, ok. Shane: Why did you guys pick mean words to describe me? *cries* Kian: Weird is not bad. *pats his back* Mark: It's not good either! Bryan: Mark, you're worse then weird! So shut up! Me: Let's keep it together here lads. Alright, Mark. Shane: Ugly. Bryan: Slow. Kian: I was going to say slow too! But I'll go with stupid. Me: Hmm, I'd say girly. Mark: *sobs from the corner* Bryan: Keep it down will you! Me: Aaww, I think we hurt his feelings. *pauses-shrugs* Oh well, moving on. Kian. Mark: Minger Shane: Ugly. Bryan: *laughs* Um, evil twin from hell Me: Hey too many words! I say, Genius. Kian: *attacks Shane* Bryan: Yeah, fight you little bitches! Shane: *bites Kian* Kian: *kicks Shane's stomach* Everyone: Ooohhh! Mark: That looked like it hurt! *laughs* Bryan *laughs at Shane* I should of said wuss for Shane's name! Me: Knock it off with the fighting! This is a therapy session not a wreslting show or slagging match! Be nice to each other damnit! Kian: I am sorry Nicko. Me: All is forgiven twiny. I was mostly talking about that emtional loon over there *points to Shane whose still in a bit of pain* Next name, Bryan. Bryan: You bitches better say nice things about me or you'll all get it! *cracks his knuckles* Mark: *is scared* Erm, lovely? Kian: Darling *pukes* Shane: Ugl- Bryan: *interrupts* Do you want me to hurt you badly Shane? Shane: Um, I meant to say kind. Bryan: That's more like it. Me: No threatening people Bry, or you'll end up in the corner like Markeena! Mark: *waves from the corner area* Me: I'd say that you're, rough. Now, last but not least. Nicky!!! *grins* Kian: Talented. Bryan: Troll. Shane: Ugly. Mark: Arse. Me: *gasps* And to think I thought you bloody fools were my mates! Kiano is the only cool one here (including me too.) And Shane, you are uglier!! Go shave your chest hair!! Bryan: *dies laughing* Wait a mintue- I have chest hair too. *grrrrr* Kian: Eeeww, that's disgusting. *nods* Bryan: You and your stupid twin are disgusting! Shane: My chest hair rocks!! *is angry* Mark: Can I leave the corner now? Everyone: NO!! Mark: *pouts and sighs* Me: Ssshhhhh!!! It's my turn to talk! Everybody goes quiet. Me: Thank you. Well this is the end of our first group therapy session. I think we need many many more until we help cure Bryan's "anger issues", Shane's minging chest hair, Mark's psychoness. And that's about it. Me and Kiano are the only perfect sane ones on the group! Get ready for therapy group session Part 2 in a couple of days! *grins* Bryan: I'm not coming to this fucking group therapy again! Mark: *still in the corner* Yeah! Me either! Me: What if I bring some hot female strippers? Bryan: I'll be there!! What time?? Shane: *cries* I'm not an emotional loon... Kian: Does this mean Tasho will come and strip for us? Bryan: Ooh, that's even better! *smiles* Mark: Noooooo!! She wont! Me: Woot!! I'll give her a call and see what I can do! *lol*
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