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Dishonest.Faith (wizardwolf) wrote,
@ 2005-02-01 01:58:00
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    My memories are haunting me tonight. I can see them with my eyes open or closed, I can feel them banging away at me. I'm lead down a road that most travel thinking about if i made the right choices when i left high school. Their is a fear in me about maybe i did the wrong thing by trying to go to college while my life was screwed up. I should have face the issues instead of trying to run from them and now after two years... they are creeping up on me again. What i need/ed in my life was stablity. I wonder how my life would have been like if I had a realible 9-5 and a girlfriend and maybe a place of my own. It could be great but predictible everyday life. But thats something i never experienced having to always watch the wind change and be at it's mercy having to adapt to the new directions.

    Alas though, the way i live my life is never regret the past since it can't and will never be undone.

    Doing the job hunt thing and being out of school again has me thinking about that. Having gone to college for two years just to end up in a job that could have gone straigh out of high school or a job that they require education at all. But I have hopes that I'll find something to validate my life. I wish i could get a job at borders, at the moment that is my dream job.

    I say this often but it's always with me. I miss being loved and I miss having the feeling that someone is there for me. I fell in love then broke every bone when i hit the hard cold ground.

    Tomorrow is de-stress day, I'm going to sleep in, go later in the afternoon to have a beer, be around people and hopefully enjoy myself.

    Peace


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goomah
2005-02-01 22:51 (link)
I love you hunny !! And some of what you're talkng about hits home.

I love the way you word things..

Kerry ;D

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