| Current mood: | tired |
| Current music: | U2 - Grace |
One of many identity crises
In a very bad decision, my mother and I got into an arguement about what it is I'm looking for. Even more importantly, what it is I'm looking for by wanting to leave the country. In the rising action of our heated discussion I said I'm not even sure I'm proud to be called American. I don't doubt it though, I'm hesitant to say I'm partial to this country. But as I said those words, it went through my head, not only as my mother was telling me, that I shouldn't feel that way. I guess it all lies in the definition of what, no..who an American is.
I know my loyalties do not lie with the majority of decisions and actions undertaken by the government. Merriam-Webster certainly doesn't provide much of a definition of what American is: 2. A citizen of the U.S. Wonderful. So by law, I am an American. To make things easier at customs, I say I'm an American. I guess, if I could define what it means to me to be an American, I'm an American.
What Makes Me an American, What I Consider an American, and Examples (at least to me):
1. Someone who can doubt their faith in their country without persecution. 2. Watching people come from other countries around the world being able to express their faith in the religion of their choice, speaking the words of their choice, and living how they choose. 3. The fact that I am free not only in body but in spirit and mind. 4. The chance of being able to live any life I choose. 5. Being able to leave this country when I choose. 6. I can disagree with, protest, abhor, despise and change any action the government takes.
At the moment I can't really think of any more. It is a bit late. But to be completely honest, stripped of any pretense, I do not see my self as anything but a citizen of this world, my fellow citizens are human beings. Sometimes...I'm struck with the feeling, after seeing truths that are far removed from my world, that I should be doing something else with my life. I can't even begin to imagine how one world can be seperated into smaller worlds, with no interaction, no intervention. I don't understand how generosity, forgiveness, charity and compassion can be given when it is deemed profitable. Its not just the United States I'm disenchanted with...its the world.
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