Pink Triangle (whatcameforth) wrote, @ 2004-02-16 16:13:00

Current mood:	apathetic
Current music:	Millencolin-The Ballad

I've devoted this day entirely to not thinking. I'm just doing things on automatic, reading, writing, listening, watching, baking. I just made biscuits and I finished Rash. That's an excellent book. Tamika and Opaque/Rik are my favorite characters. But I can't really think about or focus on anything today. Which is fine by me.
First I must thank Rachelle and above all Dani for making this weekend a hell of a lot of fun. It was lovely. Second, I must apologize to Dani for being weak and making yesterday....not very exciting. It wasn't what I was expecting and I think I let you down. Or something. I probably just shouldn't have come over. Though I'm glad we finally watched Thirteen, even if we didn't get around to Waking Life. Maybe we could watch it sometime this week before Friday. Thirteen was good, but too much of it was like us. Not the drugs or drinking or anything, certainly not the betrayal, but also sort of that. We're happy on a day-to-day basis, but it seems like I've let you down so many times since sevesnth and eighth grade. Things were so easy and simple then and now it's like I'm always doing something wrong. Sometimes I wish I was still that oblivious nerd that you used to know. I stopped caring about things and I feel like I've screwed something up for us. I don't know....I'm not sure what I'm feeling.
My brain hurts. Or myabe it's just my head and I should go down some pills to make things a little more cheerful.

	privacypolicy 2004-02-16 22:42 (link)
	If you feel bad about "screwing something up for us" then wouldn't you still be caring? What is it exactly that you thing you've screwed up for us? Tell me more, tell me more. (Reply to this) (Thread)

whatcameforth 2004-02-16 23:43 (link)

Agh, I'm not really sure what I was talking about. But when I said I stopped caring, I meant about outside things, things like school, and family and life in general. Not about us. That's about the only thing I care about at this moment. There's not one thing that I screwed up, it just seems like since I started listening to punk and following after you and Rachelle, I'm a different person than the one you used to know and like in middle school. I just feel like since then, I've made a lot of stupid mistakes and I hate myself for them and I don't understand how you can still be my friend. But you are, and that's really what counts. Thanks for listening to my random wanderings. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Yeah. privacypolicy 2004-02-17 00:17 (link)

Well yeah, you are a different person than the one I knew in middle school. That isn't bad and that isn't good, it's just a fact. People change, it happens all the time. And it's not like I haven't changed or made stupid mistakes either. I can't think of a single reason why I wouldn't be your friend. Maybe there would be reasons to why I'd get mad at you, but not being your friend seems ludacris at this point. On a random note, I think we need to get mad at eachother. You said that you screwed something up for us, but I fee like I'm going to screw something up. I don't know why, but I've just been thinking and I feel like I'm going to screw something up. Maybe this is a warning or something, I don't know, I just thought I'd say that because it's confusing me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tawney 2004-02-17 00:14 (link)
	Waking Life is fricking weird. I watched it with Chalie. PS: I made a journal so that I could comment on you's guys. (Reply to this) (Thread)