 |
|||||||||||||
 |
|
 |
|||||||||||
 |
 |
||||||||||||
Ahhhhhh prom night. It is one night I always look forward to. You all look so gorgeous and "old" in comparison to your usual sloppy selves (believe me, i ain't throwing stones). But with your cameras flashing and your top hats and your slinky glittery tight gowns and that hair that cost a fortune in time and money, it truly makes me smile and regret I will not be at this one in 2008. It is, in fact, the first gala I have missed in all my time at Carson (not counting a time when I showed up in a state where I was advised I shouldn't go in--and gratefully, they were right) in excluding me. Maybe I like going to your prom so much because I missed my prom. I should say, I didn't go to mine. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time and so on that night, I ended up with my friend Paul (who obviously also didn't go) at a Drive-In Movie. So while others were twirling gleefully on the floor waiting to crown the King and Queen, I was in a VW Rabbit watching SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS. Now with a film with one of the greatest names of all-time, you would think it would have been really great, but it was really cornball. In fact, you can find it in the camp section of the video stores.   Anyway, even back then the movie was really stupid. The only enjoyment came whenever a cheerleader would lose her top, in a few cars over inhabited by drunk Marines, some Jarhead would scream out, "NIPPLES!" Then we went home. Prom night for Leibner was over. Romantic relationships were always awkward in the beginning. You're a lot better off than you were in junior high school when your body and brain were going beserk and your parents wondering when exactly you became possessed by Satan or one of his hoochie cheerleaders. In the short story "Hips" in Sandra Cisneros's fabulous collection HOUSE ON MANGO STREET, she writes about those blossoming thingees: "One you day wake up and they are there. Ready and waiting like a new Buick with the keys in the ignition. Ready to take you where?"   I can not think of a better metaphor for either gender to understand our burgeoning (explosive?) sexuality. Right after puberty, it's hard to work out the brakes and the gas pedal of our vehicle. How much weight should be applied to each? And when? It's trying to be non-chalant over the harsh sound of gears grinding as your car lurches forward, stalls out, embarrasses you even as you try to remain cool with your arm calmly resting out the window, shades cocked, "Yeah I know what's up, baby." Even thought it is never really publicaly discussed, your sexuality will lead you unexpected places and determine some momentous events in your life. You will only realize this years later when analysis of these events leads you to a deeper understanding of your inner workings. Sex education is thought to be: this goes in here like this and to prevent a baby from coming out here, cover that thing there...etc. For those of you who got "The Talk" from your parents, you got probably the clinical essentials. It's rare in our cultures to discuss emotions, desires, pleasure, power, jealousy and control as part of the sex education process. All of these forces will pull at you throughout your life--sometimes YOU will be the object of these forces and other times it will be you who will utilize these "things" on others. Sex and love will play ferocious and wonderful tricks with you. There is not a single person who has ever lived who can definitively explain How and Why each works and their relationship to each other. No human has come through their love and sex experiences unaffected. Unlike other animals, we manifest our sexuality not only in our biology--but how we carry ourselves, what we think, behave, act out, dream and express ourselves in terms of the art we create. It colors how we see the world and other humans equally being enacted upon by their own sexuality. To continue with Cisneros's metaphor of the car, I'll throw out some advice. Because you are inevitably going to drive your car at some point, know that "accidents" are bound to happen. When they do, if the other person's at fault, it's a harsh but necessary lesson to learn but you'll be more cautious next time knowing to watch out for that sort of driver. If it's your fault, well, make whatever amends you can and learn to be a better driver. You don't want people fearing to be on the road with you. (Unfortunately, more than once, my license has been suspended.) No one gets through life with their heart unscarred. Many of you have had heartbreaks already (those who haven't, well, just you wait!) It helps to realize that every person you meet has at least one great heartbreak in their past that has shaped who they are now. Hopefully you will have many successes in love where your partner(s) teach you something and you mutually learn from each other how to give and receive pleasure (not the only, but certainly one of the sweetest parts about a romantic relationship). Invariably, you will gain confidence in this areas as you go through life. If you have many experiences, try as much as you can to drive conscientiously and never get in a situation where you are taken advantage of by someone else or that you are the one insensitive and exploitive of another's vulnerability. Never be deliberately cruel to someone who offers their heart to you. Boy, there were a lot of things about love and life I didn't know on that prom night all those years ago. I've always been impressed at the relationship of the sexes in general at Carson. There seems to be a lot of true friendships, compassion, honesty and trust between you guys. I think you are much further ahead in that department than the boys and girls of my senior class, so you have a great head start on me. You can imagine what a delight it was to discover that girls did indeed have nipples in real life.  You all know I hope you have a really wonderful time at your prom. 
|
| © 2002-2008. Blurty Journal. All rights reserved. |