walkaways (walkaways) wrote, @ 2002-12-01 12:57:00

"I gotta rush away," she said,
"I been to Boston before.
and anyways
this change I been feeling
doesn't make the rain fall"

No big differences these days
just the same old walkaways
and someday
i'm gonna stay
but not today


i want to rush away. i want to jump on a train and follow the map that adam duritz has painted through his words . . . New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Hollywood, California, Boston . . . i want to go and be free to be pulled. by wind. by the smell of the ocean.
i miss the ocean. what few times that I have seen it . . . i miss smashing into waves and forgetting everything except the taste in my mouth, the bitter salt stinging my eyes. i miss being purely myself in those moments, not weighed by expectations and decisions and unfinished everythings.
i want to say the words of that song to everyone, sing them outloud, and just go go go away from everything that's turning me into someone i am not.
i'm tired.
i'm scared.
and someday
i'm gonna stay
but not today