|Current mood:|| nostalgic|
|Current music:||Evanescence - October|
.:. Memories .:.
xNnYxCruciFiedx: sup, lovely
xNnYxCruciFiedx: hgow've you been?
Froggs07: i've been pretty good....you?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: same old...sloppy mess and loving it
Froggs07: sounds fun
xNnYxCruciFiedx: so what's up, homeslice?
Froggs07: whatcha up to?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I just went to the flea market this weekend
Froggs07: whatcha get?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: got two new weapons, three Cds, three DVD's, mario boxers, a ring, a book, a super nintendo game, a cellphone lighter, a piece of finger armor, three pounds of cherries
xNnYxCruciFiedx: and I only went with a hundred bucks
Froggs07: what are you gonna do with 3 pounds of cherries?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: eat them
xNnYxCruciFiedx: cherries are yummy
xNnYxCruciFiedx: me and becca already ate them
Froggs07: wow...thats alotta cherries
xNnYxCruciFiedx: not especially, when you think that cherries are relatively heavy alone, and that the pit counts for a good part of the mass of the cherry
Froggs07: what sorta fun weapons did you get?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: oh, one is this amazing solid steel tribal blade
xNnYxCruciFiedx: It's hard to describe, so think batman's head, but squoosed in and sharper
Froggs07: lol..sounds fun
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's very pretty and nice to handle
xNnYxCruciFiedx: the other thing I got was a small ornamental sword
xNnYxCruciFiedx: nice handle, carved blade. I don't want to play with that one, so I put it on te plaque
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I just need to hang it
Froggs07: i think im gonna get a japanese sword
xNnYxCruciFiedx: nice any ideas of what kind?
Froggs07: not really...im gonna be starting isshin ryu over the summer and im gonna do stuff with those kinda swords and see what kind i like
xNnYxCruciFiedx: ah, good show kenshin
xNnYxCruciFiedx: rurouni kenshin practices issin-ryu
Froggs07: the best part is that i get to go to castanza's for free
xNnYxCruciFiedx: how come?
Froggs07: because i took it at school from the lady who owns it, so i get to go there for free till next semister starts, then after im done with that, i get to go there for free until i graduate
xNnYxCruciFiedx: good show
Froggs07: im excited
xNnYxCruciFiedx: maybe then you can battle me for real
Froggs07: i could do that before i started taking it
xNnYxCruciFiedx: yes, but I mean now you might have a slight chance of winning
Froggs07: i always had a good chance at winning
xNnYxCruciFiedx: but I am super ninja extrodinaire...and you're old
Froggs07: no you're not...and im not as old as i used to be
xNnYxCruciFiedx: how are you better?
Froggs07: yeah...from running again and doin the whole karate thing, it's strengthened the muscles around my back
Froggs07: and it's supporting my bulging disks
xNnYxCruciFiedx: good show...you have support now
xNnYxCruciFiedx: and I'm slowly crippling because I haven't had a decent massage since we used to hang out
Froggs07: good...you'll be easier to defeat then
Froggs07: jenn doesn't hook you up?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: definitely not because crippled or not I am still an immortal super ninja
xNnYxCruciFiedx: she's not good at it, but Becca said she'll do it
Froggs07: well at least you still have some people to do it for ya
xNnYxCruciFiedx: yeppers...still surrounded by the lovelies as always
Froggs07: its good to see nothings changed
xNnYxCruciFiedx: oh a lot has changed...just not that
Froggs07: well i ment your lovelie situation
xNnYxCruciFiedx: yes'm...same as always, bunch of lovelies no girlfriend
xNnYxCruciFiedx: very familiar
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I picture the same thing happening, but now that I'm emotionally dead to the world, it'll be more amusing than devastating
xNnYxCruciFiedx: so that's where the immortal comes in
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I'm not sure where the ninja comes from...I think I got that at a mexican restaurant
Froggs07: why does that make you immortal?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: side effects of a bad burrito
xNnYxCruciFiedx: because if I live dead, I cannot die
Froggs07: shure you can
xNnYxCruciFiedx: sure I'm not truly alive, but if I can't feel pain and can't be hurt, I can't die
xNnYxCruciFiedx: hey, beautiful, I'm just sitting here witing for someone to come prove me wrong
Froggs07: i find it hard to belive that you are completely emotion-less
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's not that I'm emotionless
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's that I don't let them exist. I bottle them all deep inside and I'm sure I'll explode eventually, but right now I have a kind of waste disposal unit
Froggs07: then what is it, because "emotionally dead" and emotion-less seem the same to me
xNnYxCruciFiedx: not the same
xNnYxCruciFiedx: emotionally dead is walking around like a plastic figurine...smiling when necessary, acting mad when necessary, acting unhappy when necessary...
xNnYxCruciFiedx: right now my emotions are limited to amused, bored, and pissed off
Froggs07: ohh...that sounds real fun
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's just kind of developed into a reflex now
Froggs07: why do you want to be like that though?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I'd talk about the waste disposal unit, but you wouldn't really understand...noone seems to...it's hard to explain
xNnYxCruciFiedx: because 97 percent of what I bottle inside is pain, misery, bitterness, hurt, anger, rage....
xNnYxCruciFiedx: why would I feel all of that just for the three percent of joy and happiness?
Froggs07: why don't you change what makes you feel that way, so that you can be happy?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's not something that makes me feel that way, it's just the human condition
xNnYxCruciFiedx: how often do you feel truly happy?
Froggs07: then why do you have more of this "human condition" than most people?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: because I'm a chaos magnet...I pretty much attract all of the negative emotions of other people into me, in effect, cheering them up and not feeling a thing myself
Froggs07: why don't you go to them so that they can cheer you up?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: no, you're missing something...I'm not sure what. See, there's not much cheering up to do, since I'm not miserable
xNnYxCruciFiedx: not feeling is such an easier way to be
xNnYxCruciFiedx: nothing to worry about and there's no pain
Froggs07: if you say so
xNnYxCruciFiedx: eh, you don't understand. and as much as I wish I could be alive sometimes, this is the life I've chosen and I'm stuck
Froggs07: but you could always choose to be alive againg
xNnYxCruciFiedx: no, I definitely can't...it's not a conscious decision I can make.
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's just the way my brain works
xNnYxCruciFiedx: the only time I come alive is again is at times of overwhelming physical or mental pain
Froggs07: well when we fight i'll make you come alive
xNnYxCruciFiedx: lets hope not
Froggs07: why not?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: because when I come alive, it's not really me....it's all the hate and bitterness and pain...all rushing to come out of the bottle at the same time...
xNnYxCruciFiedx: it's not a pretty site and it scares me
xNnYxCruciFiedx: yaay speechless. That happens
xNnYxCruciFiedx: don't worry about it, I don't expect you to understand
xNnYxCruciFiedx: you never really did understand me
Froggs07: but i tried
xNnYxCruciFiedx: noone does...but that just makes my little world far more comfortable
Froggs07: i think i tried to
Froggs07: i always tried to kinda think like you so that i could understand where you were comin from with stuff
xNnYxCruciFiedx: but how do you know how I think?
Froggs07: i don'y and the more i tred to understand you the more confused i get
xNnYxCruciFiedx: If anyone understood, I'd have loved for it to be you, but now I'm more of a mess than I ever was.
xNnYxCruciFiedx: Yeah, I don't know what to say without sounding fake, but I work on a different level than everyone else...my mind is just...chaos
xNnYxCruciFiedx: you stabilized it while you existed, but in your parting you made it far worse than it was to begin with...but we've gone over that crap far more than we should have. But ever since long before you, I was a mess
xNnYxCruciFiedx: just what happened is one of those come alive chaos moments
xNnYxCruciFiedx: and that was the mess that I was afterwards
xNnYxCruciFiedx: but that faded back to the dead I was in the first place
xNnYxCruciFiedx: but now there's been so much more to bottle inside and I'm far more perceptive to everything around me than I used to be, so there's more to see, more to hate, more to interest me, more to love, more to piss me off....but I don't let any of it exist
xNnYxCruciFiedx: the mess I was when you knew me was beyond mild....now I'm extra spicy
Froggs07: i would love to exist again, but i don't know if it would help or harm you
Froggs07: or even me
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I have no idea either. I feel like I'd be a plague on your life
xNnYxCruciFiedx: because I know Brian dislike my existance in your life greatly
xNnYxCruciFiedx: and for good reason
xNnYxCruciFiedx: with the whole trying to break you up for a few months and attacking you and everything
Froggs07: yeah...and i don't want it to get back to that, but i do miss being friends with you
xNnYxCruciFiedx: and I know me existing in your life again will bring far more problems than solutions for you, so if you're completely happy as is, my best advice is to avoid me
xNnYxCruciFiedx: oh, I'm not saying it will get back to that
xNnYxCruciFiedx: there's just residual distaste for Brian, and you guys have that whole love stuff going on, and I don't want to cause any fighting
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I think as nice as it would be, it would be unhealthy for your present situation
Froggs07: you're probball right, but when ever i look back on the family feild trips and pretty much all of 11th grade, i miss it
xNnYxCruciFiedx: yeah, I look back and remember being happy, but don't you think that's dead and gone?
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I mean, is there really any way to revive that kind of childish, consequenceless happiness?
Froggs07: if you put us together, we will always be childish, but consequenceless i don't think we can get that back
xNnYxCruciFiedx: because everything we do would have some kind of repercussion on someone
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I mean even us just hanging out and talking again would upset Brian
Froggs07: hanging out would upset him, becasue you're a boy and you used to like me, but talking i wouldn't bother him as much
xNnYxCruciFiedx: yeah natural human insecurities would poison your relationship
xNnYxCruciFiedx: hey, up to you...I'll just sit here like a zombie until you need me. But I have to go get ready for work
Froggs07: okie dokie
xNnYxCruciFiedx: one of the benefits of being emotionless is not loving or hating you. apathy is far easier to deal with, don't you think?
Froggs07: i guess..but it still kinda feels like you dont like me sometimes
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I don't...but then again, I don't dislike you either.
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I have no reason for either
Froggs07: thanks i think
xNnYxCruciFiedx: ha ha, no need to thank me, it's not on purpose
Froggs07: well have fun at work
xNnYxCruciFiedx: I shall
xNnYxCruciFiedx: sayonaram lovely
Froggs07: bye bye
he makes a few good points, but i just miss how things used to be....
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|Hey there... |
This is xl0stinmydreams from [Unknown LJ tag]. As you can see, the community was suspended, as well as my journal, Kathryn's ( warxonxdrugs ), and many of our other users due to Blurty's age limit. :(|
So we've decided to move our community over to greatestjournal at
www.greatestjournal.com/~xbodacious_ (please copy and paste I was having trouble getting the darn link to work)
We know it is a lot for us to ask of you, but please consider getting a greatestjournal user name and joining the new xbodacious_. It would really mean a lot to us, we miss you all!
If you decide not to get a greatestjournal and start over with us again, then thank you for all of your dedication to the old community. It was fun while it lasted.
Also, if you are in contact with any of the other suspended members of the old community, please notify them of our new home.
Questions? Feel free to IM me on AIM at xOrangeflipflops.
Sorry about all of this...
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