Erica (victim21) wrote, @ 2003-12-30 02:19:00

Current mood:	nostalgic
Current music:	Autobiography of a nation//Thursday

For ashley w
So tell me why i get like this.

Im so fucking different now. I knew it all along, but it never phased me. I wish i could let it all go, but im too attached. But i'd also like to think i've changed a lot for the better, which i have, but in the process i've left everyone behind..i left the people who abandoned me in the first place and i put the blame on myself. Which i feel bad for, but in a way, what goes around comes around. Sometimes i just wish i could go somewhere new, and start everything from the beginning. Because this is too tough sometimes.

No matter how high, there has to eventually be a downfall, and now i found it. It makes me feel like when i was a kid. When i'd go sledding with my dad and my sister, we'd go to the big hill and i was so excited, so happy to be at the top. You slide down with the people you love, all on the tobagan(sp?), and yes its fun, but as you near the bottom, you realize when you're finally there, you'll have to walk ALL the way back to the top, and start again. Well, i've just gone down that hill, and i dont even recall there being any bumps. I just dont feel like walking all the way back up. Maybe i wont have to.

This doesnt make any sense to most of you. Sorry about that, but i needed to rant and i knew i can come here because nobody reads it.

But i will say, thank you edward for being the greatest person i know lately. Although i havent known you long, you are incredibly nice to me, and well, thank you. I truly adore you.

deathofrhetoric 2003-12-30 04:19 (link)

It makes sense to me.....Dont know why I'm posting here cause I have no clue if you will ever even read this comment.....but I figured I would say that I do know what you are going through.....I know that I havent been the greatest friend to you, if I've been a friend at all, but if you want to talk I'm almost always on and I'll always talk to you. Maybe we can have another one of those long conversations again? That would be awesome....... Scott (Reply to this) (Thread)