Sonja (vegansonja) wrote, @ 2004-04-15 05:01:00

Current mood:	sleepy
Current music:	"Strawberry Fields Forever" -Beatles

Jean-Pierre (still not Raffarin)
A short while back, I included these lists in an email to a friend. Unsurprisingly, they still make sense to me.

Reasons why I don't want a boy in my life (in no particular order):
1. Emotional involvement is distracting.
2. Most boys aren't vegan.
3. Most boys aren't sterile/willing to become sterile.
4. I'm soo not into ideas of gender roles or appropriateness (which even "modern" men have come to expect).
5. I don't like people who primarily want my sex. :)
6. I suspect they all 'do' others in secrecy, potentially bringing home STDs.
7. No (romantic) relationship is likely to become a top priority for me anytime soon.
8. The ones who buy me things make me feel uncomfortable.
9. Mom's words: "Never date anyone you wouldn't want to marry; you might fall in love".
10. "Love" is fleeting and rarely ends happily.

Reasons why my mind could be changed (again, without order):
1. Feelings associated with kissing and generalized closeness.
2. Laughing and silliness while in someone's arms (similar to above, but I'm grasping for straws).
3. Sharing food and most everything else (still grasping straws).
4. Intellectual conversations in which an appropriately enthusiastic response would be making out. :)
5. Inexplicably wonderful and horrible longings for a particular individual.
6. Biological human desire to form a pair bond (for "love").

And for color...




I took the most accurate villain personality test
created by: The Arch Villainess Gracie

beastofburden 2004-04-15 08:40 (link)

Hmm... I have a large problem with number 6, in the first list. See, that is one of my "festering concerns". I have a lot of those crappy things. But, mostly, I think the world is out to screw me over in any way possible and that is done by most of the people within the world. Therefore, the main goal of most people is to hurt me. The fact that the person is "doing" someone else....I think, would probably bother me more than the thought of an STD. So, hurt wise, I guess that would be the way to go. Damn it. It sucks going through life with such concerns. Not that I don't trust. I do trust. It's just a thought...locked in the back of my mind. List 2 is lovely. I think I like all of those. They are hot. I'm totally into 1, 2, 5, 6...but really...I like them all. Damn...I am just a romantic. And I'm a firm believer that everything should work out...cause if love is actually involved....that overrules other factors or something. See? Crazy Romantic. Oh yeah, that's some nice color. haha (Reply to this) (Thread)

vegansonja 2004-04-15 13:51 (link)

I think, depending upon who I end up with (that is assuming I end up with anyone), I might have developed a ready willingness to have extramarital affairs. They make great defense mechanisms, you know. That way, when he approaches nervously to say, "I've been DOING someone else", I can be like, "No way! Me too! After all these years, we're still sooo in tune!!!" :) Alas, I also have a fondness for the second list. It's been a long time since I've let myself have the "longings" mentioned in 5... but it'll happen eventually. I can feel myself slipping a bit closer if I read the list too many times. Stupid nature, trickin' us all of the time! Manipulating us through emotion! Damn, it sucks! I'm going to read the first list a few more times and then force my nonfunctional, sleep-deprived brain to do some homework. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vegansonja 2004-04-15 13:32 (link)
	I only censor one act in this journal. In clicking, "I want your sex", posters are immediately bound to the agreement to want my sex. Statements stating or implying otherwise will be promptly deleted. :) -Sonja (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-04-15 16:47 (link)
	He he, sorry about that, I've learned my lesson thoroughly :) Studly Pete (Reply to this) (Thread)

asalwayzz_me 2004-04-16 11:49 (link)

I am so eye-to-eye with you on the whole not wanting a boyfriend AND on the reasons why your mind would change. I always tell people that I don't like to "let go" so to speak with the male species because I am to affraid that I will fall in love. Which would mean that I am scared to fall in love in fear of being controlled soley on my emotions for the other person. I don't know if that makes any sence at all. I hold back quite a bit with the male species. I am to affraid to get my heart hurt...but at the same time, am I hurting my self by not letting myself love?? hmmmm something for me to ponder!! :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

vegansonja 2004-04-16 13:48 (link)

Thanks a lot for posting, Lady. I guess it's really easy to get lost in my own thoughts and decide that I'm neurotic or near alone in letting such things have a share of my brain. Actually, what you said made ... a lot of sense to me. I've said it myself in other words, in fact. I would quite enjoy having most the second list right now. Unfortunately, some of that first list would come with it... and also what I'm avoiding in the second. As pathetic as it may seem from the outside, I have a life to live. Other people get in the way. :) ...but, I have to admit... I don't want to avoid it all forevermore. :) I'm cool with such emotion, when it's convenient. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)