time for tomorrow
This time last year I was moving out of my apartment in Willi. Wow how time flies. I remember Gus helping me pack everything into his and my car late one night, so he could drive with me down to Simsbury to bring my stuff home, because I procrastinated in moving things out quicker. He later admitted that he helped move me out that night, because he wanted me to sleep at his house.
Earlier, I had collapsed in my empty, dusty room on his soft, big lap, tearful and panicked. Just trying to get everything packed in 90 degree heat-- knowing I was headed back home, a place I hate being.
And now, it seems as though Willimantic was just a dreamful suggestion I had once upon a time. Dating Adam, hanging out with the girls, getting free drinks at Corleone's whenever I wanted... all just a creation in my mind. The only reality I see now is my boyfriend, going to school, taking care of three small girls. I hang out with Todd and the gang, and sometimes my girls.
And I know that if I move again... there won't be the same nostalgia of leaving-- it will be exciting-- but in no time it will seem as if I never came back to Simsbury. Phases of life need to pass smoothly and quietly like a child creeping in the night to get a snack. The occasional bump reminds us that it might have really existed... but really, we all need to focus on today, and of course, tomorrow.
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