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The Thing I Love About Little Children Is...
A perfect day, where not everything has to be perfect, but the children are good.
That was my day yesterday. I spent 14.5 hrs at the place I nanny yesterday, because they asked if I could babysit directly following my usual day of nannying, because it was their "mormor's" (grandmothers, but I think that actually means MOM in Swedish) surprise birthday party.
When I was little, I loved being the "little, cute" one all the time. I was the one that everyone said was adorable and the one that everyone adulated. I was very narcissistic (not that I am not now...) and I was self-absorbed, but not necessarily in a bad way, just in the way that children are. I wanted to be an actress. A following thought of mine that I actually had when I was younger was, "There is no other way to live in this world but to be famous." I was serious. I didn't think life was all that exciting unless I was going to be on stage performing for everyone or kissing really cute boys in teen movies.
Somewhere along the way, after reconnecting with God and feelings of altruism and the "greater good", I started to suddenly feel otherwise. I have always lamented the loss of my innocence, since my parents were divorced when I was 11, and my ideal of love shattered in split seconds. This event coupled with a few minor events a few years prior, such as my pinwheel being taken away by a construction truck that was doing work on our backyard, or our swingset being expropriated along with our sandbox, never to be replaced (I was the ripe age of 7 or 8), I really missed my childhood at an early age. I would make collages in my teens; a sort of shrine to the youth I felt I no longer had- but they always revolved around me, or a picture of me when I was young.
Then I discovered that by being around children, I was reliving a part of me that had gone astray so many years back. That was when I started to really consider a career working with children. That, and I was surprisingly good at it, because little did I know, I had an inner child in me all along.
I remember, a little less than two years ago, when I was seeing the first boy I ever really loved, and starting my new job at the daycare, the feelings of fullness and love coursed through me every second I spent with those tiny children. It was a strange feeling, to be "in love" with someone else's child, and be in love with a man you adored; the capacity to love was extended that day to a place I didn't think it could go. I loved and learned to love more than I thought I possibly ever could, and it was so easy. It just happened.
Now, I am with the man I assume I am going to marry, and I am nannying for 3 girls, who I've been taking care of for about 8 months. Things were not always rainbows and butterflies, nor are they still. But I feel that I've really come to a place with them, where I feel comfortable being around them, able to give them affection, know that they genuinely care for me in return... it's great. It almost feels like I have 3 little sisters, when I am there. We will squabble, and sometimes I'll yell, but we are so close now, that they are over it in two seconds, and the bad feeling I had about yelling at them does not stay too long because they reassure me (in their kidish ways-- with hugs, smiles, whatever) that I am special to them.
Yesterday, the reason why I started writing this piece, was one of those really good days. Beatrice, usually a fireball, defiant and wild (sometimes for the worse), surprised me. She was so affectionate all day long, she was usuing beautiful manners and being considerate of her sisters. We took a trip to the park, which the two youngest loved, we counted dandilions and tried not to step on bees. Then, Madeleine came home with a huge splinter in her knee and had to be taken to the doctor, but before all this, all of us planted some flowers and watered them. Josephine took a KILLER nap, almost 4 hours, which was greatly appreciated by yours truly, and she did not soil her diaper once that day. It was a day of all days, I'm telling you.
Right before mom and dad came home, while Madeleine was at acting class, Beatrice was snuggled on my lap, and Josie was curled up next to me on the chair, and we watched TV. Then, we had to get Madeleine from acting, while the parents went out, and I made them dinner, and they had a really great time. At one point in the day, Madeleine asked me if I was still going to be their babysitter when I was 29 (I told her I'd be 29 when she turned 10), and I said "I don't know", not wanting to hurt her, and she said, "I hope you are!"
Josie is just starting to learn how to speak: "go" "gook" (look) "bye" "hi" "mama" "da" "ball" and my personal favorite, "Mahhh Mahhh", which, of course, is intended to be AMANDA. It actually does sound different than the sounds she uses for "mama". Josie was the easy child. She was really tiny, but didn't fuss too much, and obviously, since she couldnt talk and spent half the day sleeping, she was never involved in the arguments. But now she is becoming a little older (will be 2 this summer) and she knows my name, face, and seems to have a real genuine attachment to me. She comes over to me about 1000 times a day, wanting me to pick her up. She also, as she did yesterday, will call out my name over and over until I answer.
In the car:
Josie: "Mahh Mahh.... Mahh Mahh.... Mahh! Mahh!"
Me: "What??" (this is all intertwined with me trying to talk with the girls who actually talk)
Josie: "Gook!" and I see a little pointer finger point to SOMETHING, of which I dont know what, through my rear view mirror.
Ten seconds later, it starts all over. This happens for the entire 1/2 hour ride. Heh.
*************************************************************
And at bedtime, the middle one, Beatrice, went and brushed her teeth without me asking, and while I was changing Josie, she brought in her toothbrush for her to brush. They are really growing up. Josie went down early, and then I read the girls a bedtime story (two, actually): There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, which I had to actually sing, and, The Sneetches, which is Madeleine's new favorite. They both curled up on both sides of me and then I tucked them in.
There's nothing quite like a good book, a hug from 3 little girls, and a quiet night. The end to a perfect day.
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 lestrange5700
2009-10-14 05:29
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