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loser (urfavoriteloser) wrote,
@ 2005-04-15 07:53:00
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    Current mood: blah
    Current music:Lamb of God - Remorse is for the Dead

    omg!! w00t w00t i got to stay hooome today!! lol i love my mommie sooo much!! lol whoa... i keep lokie track of my thoughts!! oh god... like.. i keep forgetting what im about to do and shit... wow... thats fucken crazy!! on myspace i keep going to do something and i keep forgetting what im about to do.... damn... wow.. dizzyness... and im only stitting down... that cant be good... nope nope nope! all im doing is sitting here typing and everyonce in a while looking down at the key board... OMG!!! dizzzy!!! >< rawr... im going to Karlee's birthday party today at 6 or 7... im gunna wear my offencive Manson shirt and some sort of pants... and im gunna do my makeup all pretty like with glitter and such! and i might put my hair in piggy tails (i dont know if im talking about the right thing....) holy wow... BLAH!! i keep forgetting what im doing!! and im dizzy.. i felt like shit when i woke up im feeling semi good... although i have like post nasal drip or some shit like that.. my throat hurts a bit... i want Ty to hold me... i miss him soo much... June 1st.. he is moving in next to me! ^^ w00t w00t.... haha all i had for breakfast was a tea... haha... thats bad... wow im shakey... im not cold im shakey... and dizzy... and i want another tea... but i dont feel like getting off my lazy ass to get one. lol.. my mom just found out i keep an online journal... lol cuz she heard me typing sooo much... she was like "who are you talking to! they should be at school!!" and i was like "sorry.. i keep an online journal..." and she was like "oh.. hahaha" i think she is still semi drunk from last night.... lol ooooh well.... oh oh oh! for once im not listening to Manson!! im listening to Lamb of God... w00t w00t! i was listening to COF yesturday.. i was also listening to ICP yesturday... hmm.. how bout that... oh grr.. i had a plan to steal Ty's beenie today too... i should have went.. but i sure as hell dont want to... lol how nice... i stole Ty's beenie on Wed. lol he fallowed me around until i gave it back!! haha then he gave me a hug and told me he loves me and such ^^ i was happy... i should have kept the beenie though! lol that would have been fun... ugh! he is probably sleeping over Dustin's house tonight... well im staying over Karlee's house so it doesnt matter... i gotta talk to him some time this weekend though.. i talk to Joe Johns and Al more than i talk to Ty!! but when i talk to Ty i acually feel good ^^ i love the kid... no matter how much i dont wanna say it.. i do... i know it! but but but.. love is baaad:: love = pain, pain = depression, depression = self inflicting pain, self inflicting pain = suicidal tendencies, suicidal tendencies = eventual death, death = pain for "loved" ones, pain for your "loved" onces = death for atleast one of them... its a never ending cycle of pain... and most people can deal with physical pain better than emotinal pain (me being one of them) that is the reason some people cut... buuut oh well... i dont cut... cuz im a good kid! plus, i dont have a reason to... im acually happy! and i mean really happy! but if ever i lose Ty... i will die insice... and i will start cutting... and i promas if i lose him i will make sure i bleed this time... that is something no one wants to hear!! oopsies! well i think im gunna get up and get myself a tea and a tissue... bye byes for now

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2005-04-19 18:03 (link)
just wanted to drop by and leave you a comment!! =) i love you stephie and i hope that everything is working out for you, if you ever need anyone to talk to..don't be afraid to IM me..i am usually ALWAYS on =)..think of ice cream..we are cool...we love ice cream like whoa!! =)

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