This is the last time I mention your name again for as long as I live. This is my last letter to you, one that you will NEVER get the chance to read.
I hope the guilt eats you up inside. You think you can get away with everything. You can vandalize my car and leave marks on my skin and force me to perform sexual acts on you through blackmail without consequences?? I never thought in my wildest dreams you would do something to hurt me like this. I have done nothing except shown kindness after you've spit on me every chance you could. My first love, where did I go wrong? I know the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. Why did I succumb to the pain of missing you when you always hurt me in the most unimaginable ways.
I am ashamed of myself for going back to you after the shit you pulled. I made excuses for you like I always have. I blamed myself for your horrible actions. I let go of everything I believed in to be with you. You were so charming at first. You could make me laugh when no one else could even make me smile. You told me you loved me and you thought we had something you didn't think existed. You talked about the future with me, introduced me to your family and your nephew, and told me about your dreams, fears and insecurities. I fell in love with you like I've never fallen before. But then the charm started to wear off. I started feeling insecure about things I never even thought about before. You made me stop talking to my guy friends because you couldn't trust me even though I didn't do anything to lose your trust. You told me that you didn't like my shorts or skirts because other guys would look. I changed so much about myself for you. Then I started to fight back and you started to get angry and mad and you scared me. So I broke up with you and met some one else but I still thought about you. A drunken night led me to calling you, which I regret more than anything. You facebooked the guy I was talking to and you managed to ruin what I had with him so I ran back to you because I was too weak to be alone.
I should report what you did to me this week, but I am too ashamed to admit I enabled you to hurt me again. I'm ashamed of myself and I will never speak to you ever again. You think you can leave a voicemail saying sorry and everything is okay. Fuck you. KARMA does exist and you will get what you deserve. I hope you receive help and I hope you change for the sake of your future girlfriends. I would not wish what you did to me on my worst enemy.
the girl whose been through hell and back
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