Dear everyone on here,
I am sorry for how many letters I write. I know that to most of you, its just wasted space... but its therapy to me. I'm afraid that if I dont write whats going on or how I feel.. when Im upset or angry or sad... that I will forget how many good days I have had and that i will suddenly go running back to the very thing that makes me feel horrible. Old habits die hard, and i understand that but this community has helped me get out my emotions when i didnt know who to rant to. :) There is nothing better than sitting down and writing one of these with no one you personally know reading it. I dont have to worry about feeling obnoxious, or that how I feel will be spread around my friends or get back to my ex. I feel safe when I come here and with all of you who take the time to read things and give your advice.
I am going through a time in my life that I never thought would come.. I am getting over my ex boyfriend whom i've dated since i was 14. Im 21 now. I've had good days, hell... ive had great days but then those are those days of lonliness that get the best of me.. or when i promise myself not to check his status's and i find out who/what hes been doing... with girls that he swore up and down he had no interest with. Thats what really gets me the most... i just want to pick up my phone and text him and tell him exactly how much i hate him and how could he do this to me... etc. but to be honest, i dont want to hear what he has to say..
I am 36 days sober. (yes, sober of the hell i have been put through with him) I havent seen or talked to him. ALTHOUGH he has tried to talk to me... I am proud. I am strong. And i have every single one of you to thank for it.
So thank you for everyone who takes the time to read and write on this community. Because every bit helps... in so many ways..
Sincerely,
me
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