i read this whole thing, and it's beautiful. you are a strong person, and i wish you the best with everything. and please, stick with it.. because I know how hard it is to walk away, and I really wish i had the strength to do that with my jerk of a boyfriend right now.. i want to get to this point where i just am not gunna go back to him after we break up (which has happened a countless number of times).. i keep giving him chances, but people never change. And I know what I need to do, but I just dont know how to walk away for good. He's my one weakness :(
he is my first everything as well, and i really think thats why I hold on so much, like you have.. and im so scared to be with anyone else.. and my best friend said she will not be at my wedding if we get married, and shes not kidding at all.. haha thats how much my friends hate him! if you need to talk, im here.. maybe you can help me.. maybe we can talk, my situation seems so similar to yours, and its killing me inside.. because i love him with my entire heart, but i know we arent right for eachother. hes not the guy i want to end up with. i dont know what to do !
OH MY GOD! I really thought that when I wrote that no one would read it... Sorry it took so long to reply, how are you? I think talking would be good for us, do you have a facebook or IM or something! Its always nice to have someone to talk to, especially because I find it really hard to talk to my friends about him, and Im sure you feel the same way... Im in the same situation as you.. Let me know love. :)