Drea (xyour_suicidex) wrote in unsent, @ 2009-10-31 14:07:00

dear fucking tim.
what happened? how did you go from being so in love with me it made me nervous to not giving a shit about me? how did we go from me being skeptical and not expecting it to start, let alone last, to me sitting here crying wondering what I did or said or didn't do that made you stop liking me. How did you turn me into such a fucking cliche? why do i have to sit here and wonder if you fucked someone else while you were with me? DID you? You probably have since we broke up, anyway. at least one girl. You told me once in a moment of honesty that you've dated 38 girls. You've reduced me down to a number. I'm now number 39. You used to tell me about your ex's a lot. I wonder what you'll tell people about me. If you'll tell people about me. Maybe I don't even qualify. Long distance doesn't count or something. I keep replaying everything over. and. over. what the fuck did i do wrong? I tried not to be clingy. I was attentive when you talked, I didn't talk too much, I tried to give you everything you wanted. So why am I the one left feeling like shit? I am so tired of talking about you, thinking of you. Did you know I can't even fucking touch myself without thinking about you? That was more than anyone who's reading this wanted to know, but you were the first person I showed EVERYTHING to. I told you things I've never told anyone.

And you threw it all back in my face.

Fuck you,
number thirty nine.

crzy4u2134 2009-11-01 13:35 (link)

hey chica, i know exactly what you're going through. My boyfriend and I broke up. He was my first everything. I gave him everything and he just threw it back in my face. He fucked other girls when we were together, lied to me about so many other things, and threw it all in my face when I broke up with him. He told me he has been with 26 girls.. making me #27.. and he is way past that by now. He came off as the perfect guy. I'm so pissed I couldn't see through his smile and his sweet talk... But I fell so hard for him. I wasted over a year with this guy because he was my first. And he knew it, and he played on my emotions. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger. I'm finally cutting off all contact. He would continute to use me even though I have nothing else to give. We deserve so much more than what they give... Don't give into him. There is some one out there that's so much better for you. Stay strong <3 Song I've been listening to on REPLAY: Jesse James- I look so good without you (Reply to this) (Thread)

xyour_suicidex 2009-11-06 20:21 (link)

thanks. it just fucking sucks so bad. he wasn't even an asshole to me, he would just... not talk to me. And say he was so busy with work, he worked two jobs, he was so busy he couldnt pick up the phone fucking once a week. But I just. I feel so fucking shitty all the time like I did something wrong. I feel so insanely fucking lonely and it wasn't bad before because I didn't know what it was like, to have someone to care for you, and now that I know, it's so hard to not have that, to feel so entirely replaceable. When I broke up with him he just said "i understand," and we havent talked since and all i can think about is how he never thinks of me. I'm sure he doesn't. and i just want to talk to him but i know to get over him i cant but i dont know. i just hate it. all the wondering. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

crzy4u2134 2009-11-07 10:19 (link)

That's complete bullshit that he's too busy for a phone call once a week. While you might feel alone right now, isn't feeling alone for a short time better than being used at his convenience? You are too good for him, and he probably realized that. He needs to grow up because he doesn't know how to handle a real relationship. You will find some one else that will actually deserve you and you will be soo happy you left this one behind. Good luck with everything <3 (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	xyour_suicidex 2009-11-07 17:16 (link)
	thank you so much [: you've helped more than you realize. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)