True Taurean (truetaureansngr) wrote, @ 2004-02-15 01:53:00

Current mood:	cheerful
Current music:	"This Is How My Heart Heard" - Duncan Sheik

Today was a pleasent surprise. I sent my boyfriend (I'm guessing we are back together) this really sweet card that I made. It was 10 things that I love about being with you, and it had a little illustration for each. I thought it was such a cute idea, that I had to do it even though we weren't really together at the time. I really didn't expect anything to change from it, but I guess it struck a chord which is really good. I'm glad it did. I had a wonderful time tonight. I wasn't really worried about getting into a fight, and it was just a nice night. Not a long night to talk about all our problems and how we don't know how to solve them. It reminded me of the old days when we first started dating and there's that missing the person as soon as they leave the apartment lol. I remember I used to always go to the window when he was getting in his car and say sweet things and wave. I guess little things like that get lost in the reality of the whole situation. As he kept reiterating, we still have a lot to talk about. I'm a lot more hopeful about the situation than I was just 48 hours ago. It's been tough for me too. I have been fighting the urge to stop being myself and stop doing all these wonderfully sweet things I think of to do. I have a million ideas at any time and most of them go out the window because I hold back. Don't really know why...maybe it's because he's not as good as thinking up these things as I am. I'm just glad that my valentine's day turned out so well. He even offered to pay for dinner, which hasn't happened for a really long time hehe. All in all, it was a sweet night. The only problem is that for me it's still not really defined what's going on. I kind of didn't know how to react or what to do at times. I didn't go for a kiss because I didn't know if that was appropriate. I don't even know if we are technically back together or still doing the breakup thing. I'm guessing it's more of the first because he didn't take his stuff with him after leaving. I don't want to do what I usually do and sit here overanalyzing every minor detail of every conversation we had tonight. I'm just going to ride this train and see where it takes us. I think it's going in a very good direction so far.