Nikki (trollops) wrote, @ 2004-03-04 19:06:00

Telisha Necole [4:59 PM]: hey sweetie SmashedPumpkin18 [4:59 PM]: hey Telisha Necole [4:59 PM]: miss me? SmashedPumpkin18 [4:59 PM]: yesh Telisha Necole [4:59 PM]: what are you up to? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:00 PM]: nm. just looking into something i want to buy online. Telisha Necole [5:00 PM]: oooh. goober Telisha Necole [5:00 PM]: what's that? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:01 PM]: a box set of rare smashing pumpkins songs. Telisha Necole [5:02 PM]: lol. goober Telisha Necole [5:02 PM]: brb Telisha Necole [5:04 PM]: kay SmashedPumpkin18 [5:04 PM]: all right Telisha Necole [5:05 PM]: did you read my letter? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:05 PM]: yesh Telisha Necole [5:06 PM]: dont you know that i love you? =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:07 PM]: yes, i know. but sometimes i know we both get a little stressed out and annoyed with each other and the relationship Telisha Necole [5:07 PM]: :hug: SmashedPumpkin18 [5:07 PM]: *hug* it's not all your fault though. yes, you have been really cranky, but i haven't exactly been easy to deal with either. Telisha Necole [5:08 PM]: yesh. well tomorrow will be good, i pinky promise. is your mom picking you up or whaaa? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:09 PM]: i'll have to see when she gets back. her and dad went out to a movie. i'm babysitting. Telisha Necole [5:09 PM]: okay. but is it okay if she comes to get you at 8? magan wants me to stay the night with her. is that ok? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:10 PM]: sure Telisha Necole [5:10 PM]: pinky promise? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:11 PM]: well, i guess i have to Telisha Necole [5:11 PM]: .. Telisha Necole [5:11 PM]: ryan =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:11 PM]: yes. pinky promise. Telisha Necole [5:12 PM]: no its not Telisha Necole [5:12 PM]: =\ Telisha Necole [5:12 PM]: nevermind i wont go SmashedPumpkin18 [5:12 PM]: it's not that. it's just that everytime i've come over for the last few weeks, i've had to go home earlier than normal Telisha Necole [5:12 PM]: i know im sorry. but nevermind i wont go SmashedPumpkin18 [5:13 PM]: no, it's okay. my mom would've said 8 anyway. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:13 PM]: okay? Telisha Necole [5:13 PM]: then why did you say all of that? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:13 PM]: because i probably could've talked my mom out of it. but nevermind. i'd rather not argue with her anyway. Telisha Necole [5:14 PM]: so 8? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:14 PM]: yeah Telisha Necole [5:14 PM]: and sunday? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:15 PM]: well, i probably shouldn't come tomorrow anyway. you'll need a nap when you get home, and i don't want you to be sleep while i'm there. Telisha Necole [5:15 PM]: GR no Telisha Necole [5:15 PM]: you're coming tomorrow SmashedPumpkin18 [5:16 PM]: please don't boss me Telisha Necole [5:16 PM]: omfg Telisha Necole [5:16 PM]: whatever ryan SmashedPumpkin18 [5:16 PM]: great. here we go again. Telisha Necole [5:16 PM]: ITS BECAUSE OF YOU Telisha Necole [5:16 PM]: ahh sorry caps Telisha Necole [5:17 PM]: its because of you. and what you said. you know i want you to come over tomorrow Telisha Necole [5:17 PM]: so why did you say that? =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:18 PM]: cause i don't want you to be all sleepy and stuff. i forgot about that. i said that yesterday, remember? Telisha Necole [5:18 PM]: im not going to be sleepy SmashedPumpkin18 [5:18 PM]: i'll go if you're sure you won't need a nap like you did every other day this week. i figured you would, though. Telisha Necole [5:18 PM]: and im sorry if i bossd you around Telisha Necole [5:18 PM]: but no, you dont have to come since it'll only be because i'm bossing you around SmashedPumpkin18 [5:19 PM]: i don't mean it like that. i mean, you don't have to word it that way like you're telling me what to do. Telisha Necole [5:19 PM]: k im sorry.. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:19 PM]: no you're not. i'm an asshole and you're still cranky. Telisha Necole [5:19 PM]: no actually im not cranky. Telisha Necole [5:20 PM]: it just kinda hurt me when you said you shouldnt come over tomorrow Telisha Necole [5:20 PM]: and then how you had a problem with you having to leave at 8. Telisha Necole [5:20 PM]: i wasnt cranky. im not cranky. you were just being kinda mean. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:21 PM]: then i'm sorry. but excuse me if i'm mad that i'm not spending as much time with my gf, or if i think maybe tomorrow she should get some rest since she's been so tired and weak lately. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:21 PM]: i thought i was being nice offering to let you take a nap. Telisha Necole [5:21 PM]: but i already told you im better SmashedPumpkin18 [5:21 PM]: k Telisha Necole [5:22 PM]: blah Telisha Necole [5:22 PM]: look do you want to come over tomorrow or not? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:23 PM]: yes, unless you need more rest Telisha Necole [5:23 PM]: well no i dont. and thanks for caring. Telisha Necole [5:23 PM]: :kiss: SmashedPumpkin18 [5:24 PM]: *kiss* SmashedPumpkin18 [5:24 PM]: do you mean that, or were you being sarcastic? Telisha Necole [5:24 PM]: i mean that..lol Telisha Necole [5:25 PM]: .. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:25 PM]: k Telisha Necole [5:26 PM]: heh. what are you doing? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:26 PM]: babysitting Telisha Necole [5:27 PM]: ooh. anything else? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:27 PM]: no Telisha Necole [5:28 PM]: i love you. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:28 PM]: i love you too. Telisha Necole [5:29 PM]: promise? =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:29 PM]: yes. but that doesn't mean i'm happy right now. Telisha Necole [5:30 PM]: why?\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:30 PM]: uh. cause we just got done arguing again, except this time we proved it's my fault Telisha Necole [5:30 PM]: tell me what exactly bothered you about that convo we just had. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:31 PM]: uhm. all of it. Telisha Necole [5:31 PM]: .. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:32 PM]: i wasn't trying to be mean. i really didn't want to come if you needed a nap. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:32 PM]: i figured you'd still be sleepy. Telisha Necole [5:32 PM]: well im not Telisha Necole [5:32 PM]: so im sorry SmashedPumpkin18 [5:33 PM]: and the only reason i was upset about the whole leaving at 8 wasn't because it wasn't long enough, but because the last few times i've been over i had to leave for some reason Telisha Necole [5:33 PM]: im sorry SmashedPumpkin18 [5:34 PM]: well, you've been sick or you needed to go check out that trailer, or your mom was too tired, or something. and i was hoping this one time since my mom was doing the ride, i could stay like normal. but then again, i don't wanna keep you away from seeing your friend. so i'll be fine. Telisha Necole [5:35 PM]: promise? Telisha Necole [5:35 PM]: its just that me and magan made these plans like last week. we planned on staying up at her dads SmashedPumpkin18 [5:35 PM]: k Telisha Necole [5:36 PM]: ive got an idea Telisha Necole [5:36 PM]: want me to see if magan would take you home at 8 that way we could atleast ride in the car on your way home? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:36 PM]: yes, if she would Telisha Necole [5:36 PM]: okie i'll ask her sometime tonight SmashedPumpkin18 [5:37 PM]: i'm sorry i started an arguement. i just don't like it when you sound like you're telling me what to do. Telisha Necole [5:38 PM]: im sorry. i didnt mean for it to sound like that...sorry =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:38 PM]: well, that's why i don't like the internet. you can't tell how something is supposed to be said. Telisha Necole [5:38 PM]: lol Telisha Necole [5:38 PM]: i know. im sorry Telisha Necole [5:38 PM]: do you wanna talk on the phone? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:39 PM]: not really Telisha Necole [5:39 PM]: oh alright Telisha Necole [5:39 PM]: so what are you doing? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:39 PM]: babysitting Telisha Necole [5:40 PM]: ooh. Telisha Necole [5:40 PM]: fun SmashedPumpkin18 [5:41 PM]: i wish you'd like talking on the phone like i do Telisha Necole [5:41 PM]: i said i do Telisha Necole [5:41 PM]: i was just cranky when i said that SmashedPumpkin18 [5:42 PM]: well, the only reasons i said i didn't wanna talk on the phone now were because i figured you didn't want to since you're making icons right now and plus i don't really feel good enough to talk Telisha Necole [5:43 PM]: well actually im not making icons but if you dont feel good enough that's okay. i'll just sit here and eat while i talk to you. do you feel sick or upset? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:43 PM]: kinda both Telisha Necole [5:43 PM]: im sorry sweetie Telisha Necole [5:44 PM]: :kiss: SmashedPumpkin18 [5:44 PM]: *kiss* SmashedPumpkin18 [5:44 PM]: i know you don't consider our fighting to be serious since you've been through alot worse, but i do. i'm not used to even having bickering in a relationship. Telisha Necole [5:45 PM]: well..then. is this realtionship healthy for you right now? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:45 PM]: not when we argue Telisha Necole [5:46 PM]: what? ...should we take a break? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:46 PM]: what do you think? we BOTH seem a little more cranky and stressed out than normal. Telisha Necole [5:47 PM]: i dont know. i want to know what you think, Ryan. do YOU think we should? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:47 PM]: in some ways i do. i want to get rid of all the crap i don't like about our relationship, but i don't wanna lose the good things we have. what do you think? Telisha Necole [5:49 PM]: i dont know. i just want you to be happy...and clearly this relationship isnt healthy for you if you're not used to this. maybe we should, i dont want to lose you but then again im not keeping you by making you be in an unhealthy relationship =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:50 PM]: well, let's forget about me for awhile. how do you feel about this relationship in general? do you ever wonder what it'd be like to not be dating, to just be friends? how do YOU feel, ignoring what i've said. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:50 PM]: just tell me. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:50 PM]: don't hold back. Telisha Necole [5:52 PM]: well god knows i love you. i love you oh so much. i mean, you're my best friend. and i love our relationship, i love it all. but lately we have been fighting, i dont know. it'd be weird with us just being friends, im sure my feelings wouldnt go away..i dont know..i just want the best for you and ive realized how unhealthy this all is because you've never been throught it before...yeah it bothers me sometimes too but i dont know. what do you want to do? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:52 PM]: i'm not sure, nikki. i really need your help on this one. what should we do? Telisha Necole [5:53 PM]: i dont know =\ SmashedPumpkin18 [5:53 PM]: don't worry about my problems. think of how you personally feel about us. Telisha Necole [5:53 PM]: do you WANT to take a break? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:53 PM]: are you sure you really want to be with me forever? do you think you need a break? a chance to meet new people? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:53 PM]: i'm not sure Telisha Necole [5:53 PM]: do you want a chance to meet new people? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:54 PM]: not really, unless you thought it's what we needed in our relationship. then i'd understand and go with the chance. SmashedPumpkin18 [5:54 PM]: but i asked YOU SmashedPumpkin18 [5:54 PM]: how do YOU feel? Telisha Necole [5:55 PM]: well i DONT KNOW Telisha Necole [5:55 PM]: do you know? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:55 PM]: no SmashedPumpkin18 [5:55 PM]: have you ever wished you could take a break? Telisha Necole [5:55 PM]: sometimes it gets like that Telisha Necole [5:55 PM]: i know it has for you too SmashedPumpkin18 [5:56 PM]: why haven't you ever told me about those feelings? Telisha Necole [5:56 PM]: because i only wanted to take a break one time when i was mad at you. i dont even remember that SmashedPumpkin18 [5:56 PM]: well, the question is, do you want a break now. Telisha Necole [5:56 PM]: have you ever wished you could take a break? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:57 PM]: yes Telisha Necole [5:57 PM]: i dont know SmashedPumpkin18 [5:57 PM]: how much do you really want to be in our relationship? Telisha Necole [5:58 PM]: it depends on the situations we're in really. i mean, sometimes its wonderful and sometimes i feel like we should take a break. so i dont know SmashedPumpkin18 [5:58 PM]: are you in love with me still? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:58 PM]: as much as before? Telisha Necole [5:58 PM]: yes i am SmashedPumpkin18 [5:58 PM]: as much as before? Telisha Necole [5:58 PM]: yes Telisha Necole [5:58 PM]: what about you? SmashedPumpkin18 [5:59 PM]: yes. i just don't love the relationship as much. maybe it's just cause we're going through a hard time though. i don't know. Telisha Necole [5:59 PM]: yeah. Telisha Necole [5:59 PM]: then we need to take a break. Telisha Necole [6:00 PM]: because, if we both dont love the relationship as much as we love each other, its making it sound like we need a break. SmashedPumpkin18 [6:00 PM]: yes...if we did take a break, what would we do? would we date other people? Telisha Necole [6:00 PM]: i dont know. do you want to date anyone else? SmashedPumpkin18 [6:01 PM]: do you? Telisha Necole [6:01 PM]: no, i asked you. do you? SmashedPumpkin18 [6:01 PM]: well, i've been curious about it before, but i'm not sure that i actually want to. SmashedPumpkin18 [6:01 PM]: you? Telisha Necole [6:02 PM]: no, i never actually thought about dating someone else but i thought about being "single" when we were fighting Telisha Necole [6:02 PM]: maybe we should take a break SmashedPumpkin18 [6:02 PM]: yeah. that's mainly how i feel. would you ever consider being with elvis again? be honest. Telisha Necole [6:03 PM]: honestly? Telisha Necole [6:03 PM]: do you want my REAL honest answer? SmashedPumpkin18 [6:03 PM]: yes Telisha Necole [6:03 PM]: FUCK NO. SmashedPumpkin18 [6:03 PM]: oh, thank god. you had me scared there. Telisha Necole [6:03 PM]: He scares me in a way that i could NEVER love him like that again. SmashedPumpkin18 [6:03 PM]: will you please call me? Telisha Necole [6:03 PM]: yeah SmashedPumpkin18 [6:04 PM]: i love you Telisha Necole [6:04 PM]: i love you too SmashedPumpkin18 [6:04 PM]: call me. bye Telisha Necole [6:04 PM]: bye SmashedPumpkin18 [6:04 PM]: *kiss* Telisha Necole [6:04 PM]: :kiss: