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*[You dont know how lovely you are]* (trippinkitten) wrote,
@ 2003-11-24 21:37:00
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    why am i NOT good enough to be with him?
    WOW its been a while. I think since Halloween. Um since then hte only thing that sticks out is i got my NIPPLES pierced!!! OUCh OMFG it hurt.
    Geez lifes been crazy, and emotional rollar coaster.
    Its been fun tho. Ive been doing alot, pretty much the same shit but some more. I went to the panthers game last friday with JOEY, NICK, and Cali CHRIS. that was SO much fun. I havent had so much fun ever in my life. those are the coolest guys. We meet up with chadelles afterwards. we went to laudys house, drank and hung out till like 4:30 in the morning.
    Saturday my life went down the shitter. guys are gay and very confusing. but from what i did realize, i DO like chad ALOT! and i think he likes me, b/c he told me, but who knows. i was doing fine until dana HAD to talk to him, and im not mad at her, but it was non of her buisness, and i wish she never said anything, b/c im worse now then i was even close to before. i cant stop crying, i just want to die. and i feel i have no one any more. ive drifted some much from everyone, and since dana and kt are butt buddies and shit i have no one now. i just wanna die. i dont know why i like him, i just do, and its SO confusing now, i dont know what to think or who to trust. i just want everything back to normal when chad and i were JUST friends, and megan was my best friend, and that was all i needed and had. shes the only person i ever felt i could trust completely besides jamie. i miss them so much. but its so hard to see your 2 best friends when both of their parents dont liek you, and its sucks. i miss you two SOOOO much. i wish i had you guys right now with me, to talk to and help me.

    I cant stop crying.

    I wish kt would stop calling me, and leave me alone, i wish i was a good student, i wish for once i could make my mom proud, and say "thats my daughter" and feel so proud of me. I wish i could be So bueatiful, and and stop crying, i wish megans parents didnt hate me, i wish i was nicere or loveable, or more like jamie. i wish she could relazie all the potential she has and realzie how prtetty she was. I wish i could realzie it, and love myself. I wish everyone got along. I wish chad did like me and this sad label of whatever kind of a "relationship" we have could be easier. I wish i was like all the other pretty girls in my class. Had their bodies and pretty faces, and wonderful smiles. I wish i wasnt me. I wish my parents are together, and i have a wonderful family, my younger sisters who i wish i could fight with all the time, and then fall alseep on the couch watching tv with. (we alwasy do it) I wish i had acar so i could drive my fat ass outta her, i wish my mom trusted me, i wish i had a job, i wish all these wishes could come true, and id be the happiest girl on the planet.

    OK well i have to go dry my tears alone, and try to sleep and not think of what a loser i am. i havent felt this bad in a while, and it sucks. i feel as if nothing will get better. help me please

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    Your costumeA Gumball Machine
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I wuuubb you!
2003-11-24 22:04 (link)
Dont ever think your not good enough for anybody, ecspecially a guy. Your beautiful and wonderful,and that smile is priceless! You really have a ton going for you, you just have to find it. and make something out of it, You can be all the things you wish you were I know you can, Yeah things go down sometimes but you always have to realize they'll get better, Its not like my parents dont like you, Im pretty sure they're ok with you. I just thought you didnt want to be around me lately so I i never really asked to hang ya know? BUt i am always here for you, Sorry i dont really talk on the fone I just dont really have time lately. But any time at all you need some one to talk to call me and ill make time. Guys are dumb, hes not worth your time.

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2003-11-24 22:39 (link)
and I WISH....... that all your dreams came true! sarah i missed you so much, i hate not having you there every minute, things with my parents lighten'd up they have bigger fish to fry... chad and your relationship will be solved for better or for worse just let it fix it self. in the mean tme stir away from it, and lets "celebrate out love"(its a song)- lol-(70's). xoxox tttyl - i will be your JEW and no one else's

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2003-11-24 23:19 (link) the both of you, i really miss you both. i really need you both, and jamie of course i wanna hang with you. Megan i cant wait till friday. love you both. thanks again.x0x0x

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2003-11-25 00:36 (link)
sarah you are a great person dont let guys get you down just like i shouldnt either so you know what i say fuck all these guy problems we gona find us some real guys not the ones that make us cry like these boys .... lol feel better!!!!!

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Your MORE then enough!!!!!
2003-11-25 18:33 (link)
Wow Sarah I miss the old days (this summer) when we were all one big happy group of friends not shit talking behind everyones back just hanging out at Laudmens Or at Allens having a good time drinking and just being silly, Before everything turned into one BIG drama. I know i kinda set it all off with The whole Dana thing but honestly you know that wasnt my purpose I was just saying what i thought of her and what i heard but whatever... Its sucks how we all drifted apart COCIES MEXIES NAZIES JEWIES and WHITIES(the original sluts haha) cause of one big dumb he said she said, I can honestly say i missed being your friend and i'm soo glad that were cool agian cause man just watching those old tapes at laudmens you can seee how much fun we use to have. I hope we can all be good friends agian.... Man Sarah i totaly know how you feel about the whole Chad thing with that kinda relationship situtation me and Camilo went through one of those awile ago before we started going out. and i can tottaly agree with you thats a gay situation, I know how it is to wish that you didnt care and shit, Dont worry you'll get through it and no matter what happens you know its for the best, I think Chad does like you i dont think he would be with you if didnt, dont listen to what anyone has to say just to yourself!!!! AND SARAH YOUR BEUTIFUL i wish i had your perfect nose and your blue eyes, Your great you dont need to wish to be anyone else your perfect just you inside and out..... Kay well that was defintly a LONG one but had alot to say!

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