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Joli (tresjolie) wrote,
@ 2003-09-18 23:06:00
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    Current mood: lonely
    Current music:story of the year

    until the day i die
    its 11:07 on september 18th.. do you know where your children are? I do.. there probably in the hurricane. Fucking hurricane. They've been talking about it since sunday, and it hasnt even rained. We could have had the bonfire and everything and it wouldnt have mattered... not that i mind not having it, i just hate when things like weather are blown out of proportion. I have decided i really dont enjoy volleyball, except for the fact that it gives me more time to hang out with kristina. tomorrow night is going to be awesome. but really i feel like the biggest fat ass in the world right now, and i dont want to go to bed. i think i spent too many nights up till 4 this summer, and as a result i developed massive insomnia. once i get up there i will be able to fall asleep, i just cant make myself go. i dont know what i think will happen if i wait up, but thats how i feel, like if i went to bed i might miss my chance at something really important. but of course if i were asleep, i suppose i wouldnt know what i was missing. ignorance is bliss. plus its that time of year again. the time where my heart switches from one to the other. you'd think id get used to it, its happened so many times, but it always catches me off guard and leaves me so confused. At least tomorrows friday, but i have a tournament saturday so really i only have one day off this weekend. suck! i feel like i need to cry. i started to cry when i watched someone get shot in the head on ER, and it felt really good to just cry. i feel like theres something more out there. something i missing. like the clubs in 1st grade where i wasnt invited to be a member, so i sat just within earshot. maybe soon the universe will invite me in. i am lonely.

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