|Current mood:|| anxious|
|Current music:||take lots with alcohol - a3|
32 hours and 55 minutes until school starts. i change my mind every hour on whether i want to go back or not. i found out that greg and kier are in a lot of my classes but other than that its really only one person here and there per class. but i am looking forward to the classes themselves so you see my dilemma. i had the craziest school dream last night. i dont remember the whole thing but it was fucking scarey. first of all, it was the second day of school and we were riding the bus home, except all my friends were on the bus. sarra, kristina, kiersten, colin, devon, greg, murphy, and a couple other people i cant remember. so yeah we were riding home from the second day of school, (dont ask what happened to the first one) and the two most memorable things that happened were one, that colin asked me to the junior prom (probably triggered by the conversation sepe and i had about the prom at the mall) and two, suddenly the bus was riding underwater in putnam lake, like the fucking magic school bus or something... nobody seemed to think this was odd, and there were sharks other marine life outside the windows that we were just looking at. but the really scary part, was that suddenly there was water inside the bus, and dozens of electric eels. and they were all swimming to me and curling around my legs and stinging me and only me, and i was screaming my head off and crying, and trying to get them away, and some of the boys we're pretending to try and help, but ignoring me at the same time, and i couldnt get them to help me. i was absolutely terrified, (i have no idea what the hell triggered that little episode...) and they just kept coming and coming until i woke up. the dream went from a really good dream to a bad one so quickly it was amazing. ahh i hope i never have that dream again, although knowing me i probably will.. i have been having recurring dreams for as long as i can remember. when i was little, i had recurring nightmares about these people trying to steal me out of my bedroom window at night. i can still remember it so vividly. but the thing is that they didnt just recur like every night. no it was like i had it one year, and it scared the shit out of me, and then like another year or two later i had it again, and i remembered it so clearly. got i hate nightmares. i was such a scaredy cat when i was little. i still am though its gotten better.
i really wish i could have gone to the movies with kristina and devon tonight, but as it is it 11:15 as we speakand my mom still hasnt come home from the beach, so i guess there really was never a chance. besides she deserves to hang out a little before going back to school anyway. i have to do my entire photo essay tomorrow, i really hope it turns out well. i am so stressed about this school year. i cant get it off my mind. i hate when things are uncertain, and this year is like the queen uncertain of all uncertain things. if there is a god.. please make this year better than last year and make it fun, and not too stressful. please! oh my gosh i dont know if i can take the suspense anymore. i need to organize everything tomorrow because if i dont do it tomorrow, it will never ever get done. at least kristinas in my lunch this year, so i can sit with her and we can have some time to catch up during the day. oh my gosh there is so much to do, and i never finished all the books i wanted to finish this summer. i think i just need to go to bed and read. tomorrow is the last day.
p.s. sarra.. why dont you update your own fucking journal! you havent updated it for like 3 weeks!!! what if i wanted something to read.
p.p.s sorry this thing is so long.. i needed to vent. it took me almost 20 minutes to write. plus i probably wont be updating as often during school, so this was like a last hurrah. it should take you a while to read sarra ;)
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