| Current mood: | full |
| Current music: | RL-Good Man |
No Longer Stuck In The Past.. //Loving The Present and Always will.
Tossing and turning in his bed,his eyes closed tightly in deep sleep. His Flashback coming too him as he stops moving
"Trace!..Stop it!" He laughed uncontrollably.." He grabbed his hands,and looks into his deep brown eyes,and sighs as he looks up at his best friend . . . . The memories,and thoughts running through his head as lightning would strike in a bad thunderstorm. He watched his best friend as he up and left him,sitting there in a cold tour bus,slamming the door on his way out.It seems as if he were in a horror movie..Everything changed so fast..so quickly. The feelings he felt were unbareable..didn't know how to control them..All he could do was sob into his pillow,and wait until the world would stop crumbling down on himself. He looked up at the clock through his teary eyes,and notices only 5 minutes have passed by.He got himself up,and wandered around the bus,trying to pace himself..trying to get his mind off losing his best friend..The best friend who was there through everything..Through MMC,through all of his girlfriends,especially the infamous,Britney Spears..NSYNC,and now even on his own..He missed all the inside jokes they had..And it's only been 5 minutes...5 whole damn minutes. Sometimes he wished he could turn back time,and go back to the MMC days and make it all better for the future..Knowing it's impossible..He reached out to his cell phone until he heard someone coming on the bus.Hoping it was him,but instead,it was a bodyguard telling him to get ready within 10 minutes. He frowned as he noticed Trace really did leave..He left..he really did walk out of his life.. He pulled on sweat pants for rehearsal,and threw on a wifebeater,walking off the bus he waves politely at fans taking his picture,and keeps walking until he reaches the rehearsal area. He wipes his eyes,assuring people that he will be "Fine.Everything will be fine" . . . He started rehearsing "Cry Me A River" and " Like I Love You " for the nights Club show..He sighed as he yet,did a "Great"job as always as the watchers would like to put it,and he puts the mic up onto the stand and walks off to go to an interview.He looked up at the black sky,and looks at his watch,not even is it 6:30PM ,and he knows it's going to storm. He walked in as he notices a brunette girl sitting there,legs crossed,her caramel complextion,her deep brown eyes,and her hair pulled back into a pony tail..He gives her the infamous Timberlake Grin as he sits down and immediately makes eye contact with her..Somehow seeing deep into her soul and suddenly backs off on his cocky ways..He realizes this interview has been the easiest one yet,the one he has ever really liked..He smiled at her as the interview was over and gets up and gives her a friendly hug..or was it just friendly? He gets escorted back outside and looks up at the sky and sees it suddenly bright with the sunshine shining down at him.He sighs contently as he somehow knows everythings going to be okay.He closes his eyes and all he remembers is asking her to go out for some coffee..His heart just jumping in so many directions..Wanting her..wanting to touch her, feel her..And what it seems like eternity..he finally asked her to be his girlfriend..He couldn't be anymore happier.. Trace came around after awhile,and he some-how just can't hold grudges anymore..He loves Trace,no matter what..Juan Trace Ayala will always be his best friend..in his heart,he will always know that..No girl can take that place... .
Feels a sudden pressure against his chest and his eyes fly open,and sits up,gasping for air.He runs his hand down his sweaty face and gets out of the bed..Walking towards the bathroom and flicks on the light,turning the cold water on,and splashes it against his face. "Justin..get a hold of yourself..it was just a dream.." ..-Looks over at Shauna sound asleep and rubs his eyes,frowning."I miss you,Trace.." He sighs and wipes his face. I know I make mistakes,but your still my best friend..Believe that." He thought outloud as he puts the towel up and walks back to the bed,and climbs in and wraps an arm around Shauna again,before falling asleep.
His baby blue eyes lighten up as he watched 20 year old,Britney Spears surprise him on a busy day,and he walks quickly over to her as he notice something wasn't quite right.Her eyes were red and puffy,and she couldn't look up at him.He wanted to comfort her,but all she could do is push him away..He looked at her and sighed.."Britney..What's wrong?" She shook her head nothing,I cant believe she thought it was NOTHING It took hours to find out what was wrong.We went back to the house we shared,the house where we bought together,the house where Britney and I made love for the first time and she was only what?19?"Damn" He thought to himself ... . Finally,she told me the devastating news..He closed his own eyes tight..Trying to hide the words.."J..I..I'm sorry..I just..I..another guy..and it..just..happened" The line that he will never forget.He already knew what she was talking about.She cheated..on HIM.How could she?He wanted to marry her,he wanted to love her like no one else did..Apparently,that wasn't enough.He tried atleast 2 or 3 times to make it work again..but Britney,she didn't want it..She didn't want what he wanted..She wanted more,and when she found out he wouldn't marry her right away,or did all of that"In too deep"relationship things..she had to escape..She was so happy though the day before..Fuck,the DAY BEFORE.He was going to go let her shop for a ring even for when they DID get married.How could she?I kind of know WHY..He just didn't want to accept it.A few days later,he got his things,and left..He packed and packed,and she watched him take all of the memories out of the house.She begged for him to stay,but all he could do was ignore her,and walk out of the house..and gave it one final look before turning his back on his true love since Mickey Mouse Club,until then. He made his announcement,for his Solo debut album,and performed at the VMA's,and released it,and it debuted at #2.# fucking 2.He was excited,and happy..The album was his therapy from the break-up..and it showed.. Go on and just..Cry Me A River..bitch,why dont you just cry about it?" He sang live on his concert date on the Justified and Stripped Tour on June 4th 2003 in Arizona .. Before you knew it,he was linked up to many celebrities..well,some of them were true,but mostly..they weren't..Janet Jackson?No.Alyssa Milano?....Yes.Christina Aguilera?Nah. Britney Spears.. Again? -- Nah.. Cameron Diaz?*The Girl who got ran over twice by a truck?*-Nah...
What the public doesn't know..Doesn't hurt them.He's dating engaged to a reporter,who works for The Times newspaper,and in love..So much in love..All he could do is embrace her.He loves her to pieces..and she knows that..The past was the past for him..Everything that happened ..was the past..and is the past.He moved on,and he's in love..and quite situated in his life.
- His eyes open up again as tears rolled down his cheek,wiping them and sits up again.The pain and heartbreak that he knew and that he suffered,was all gone..and he knew that for sure as he looked over at the Love Of His Life and smiled down at her through his teary eyes.He knew it was over..He knew that he won't suffer anymore pain or heartbreak from anyone,or anything.He laid back,curling up again against his fiance and smiles,wrapping an arm around her,taking in her vanilla scent -
And that my friends..are the dreams I've been stuck in for the past 2 years..and the best one yet?Was finding Shauna in my life,and her telling me that it's going to be"Okay".She knows me..she knows me so well..and so good.I love my woman,and that will never change.I loved her since the moment I laid eyes on her..I guess I do believe in Love At First Sight
The Justified and Stripped tour ends..TONIGHT .. I'll miss Christina and everyone on the tour..but it's time for a well needed break with my woman.-Grins and nods- Time for a wedding too plan! -Chuckles and heads off to the venue with his crew and Shauna-
And that's it..I'm JT,and i'm out.
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