|Current mood:|| angry|
|Current music:||FABOLOUS......STREET DREAMS|
HE MAKES ME SOOOO MAD! i SWEAR i am adopted.....or at least he isnt my real dad. MY FATHER is a fucking stupid ass! i hate him soo much its not even funny. he has a joy in making me cry. im fucking 18 years old. let me have my own god damn life. ARG!!!!!! HES SOOO STUPID! seriously.........im 18.....he wont let boys call the house.....he freaks out when i come home like 10 minutes late.......if have to tell him EXACTLY what im doing or where im going.......HE DOESNT believe me on anything i tell him.....NOTHING!......so everytime i try to explain myself he says im lying and grounds me and yells at me. I HATE HIM i seriously do.....not just cuz we got in a fight....which we do every other day.
I SWEAR i can't live with this man much longer. i dont see how my mom survived 20+ years.....i cant even stand a month. thank god im out of here in like 3 months.......then hes gone form my life. lets see if i even talk to him after i move away. ill talk to my mom. ILL MISSSS her with alllll my heart and probably cry when i leave her but thats cuz my has a heart. and she understands me. i hate him i hate him i hate him! ARG! im gonna get a tattoo just cuz i want to piss him off. i want one on my lower back but he says no and got all pissed off. ill get one and be like look at this shit once im leaving for phoenix. HA! fucker. i swear.....i wish my mom cheated on him with someone decently being a father. my father doesnt care.....cuz im not the prodigy he wanted me to be. i quit basketball sophomore year and then he like disowned me or something. i then did dance team and he went to one game.....but only went cuz it was a football game and my brothers played football, basketball, and baseball.....and my sister was secretary in student governmanet and she played bball and was in all these clubs.......
"why can't you be more like you brothers and sister?" WELL CUZ I DONT WANT TO WASTE THE BEST MEMORIES OF MY LIFE PLEASING YOUR SORRY ASS!
I made prom court....he didnt care didnt even pay A CENT for my prom expenses. im gonna need therapy for this shit when im older. LOOK IM FUCKING GROWING GREY HAIRS CUZ OF HIM! ARG!!!! he scares me sometimes. i feel like hes gonna hit me......oh those memories.....i want him to hit me....and then say in his face "HIT ME AGAIN. MAKES YOU ALL POWERFUL TO HIT A GIRL....YOUR DAUGHTER THAT YOUR SUPPOSE TO LOVE! YEAH YOUR A REAL FATHER. ILL BE SURE TO TELL GRAMPA YOU TURNED OUT TO BE A WONDERFUL FATHER." hes never fuckig told me i was beautiful.....well he did once back in 2000 at my brothers wedding....never really praises me for anything....told me im fat a couple of times......im gonna do whatever i want to please myself. forget about hi and stupid ass boys.....only for myself and my mommy....cuz shes the shit.....
i LOVE YOU MOMMY!!! Shes the only one that i know will always care about me....and my sister. my oldest brother is like my dad kinda...but my other brother is like my mom so him too. i need out of this damn house.....thank god for this weekend. lets just hope that he doesnt ground me then say i cant go and whatnot....i dont give a shit anymore ill just runaway and go anyways. whats he gonna do ground me? at least i would have gone :) plus he cant ground me for long. im moving in less than 3 months. HA sucks to be him. i just dont want to leave my mommy by herself. she can move in too :) *A*
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