|Current mood:|| happy|
|Current music:||Inside Out - Eve 6|
I have no idea what to say as one topic, so I think I'll just say a bunch of stuff I'm thinking about.
Who the hell is The Queen of Chicago?!?! Okay, When I got back from my trip to Chicago I wrote an entry entitled "SHADY BACON is the King of Chicago", based on a joke Andy and I made all the way back in Freshman year. Anyways, a little over a month goes by and I get an email from Blurty about a new comment, so I hopped over to my journal before I read the email, and I couldn't find a new comment in any of my latest entries, so then I hopped back to Yahoo to see where the comment was. It turns out that the comment was written in the month and a half old "King Of Chicago" entry. The comment went as follows:
I am the queen of CHICAGO! haha sucka ;-)
The entry was anonymous and had no title, but there was the star icon in the title space. I asked tons of people, and I interrogated the only girl I know who used to live in Chicago with such depth that the 60s era CIA would tell me I went far over the line. Now, I'm not crazy, but I am very very paranoid and obsessive about stuff like this, and for a while this slipped out of my mind and it was all good. Then I tried to get to sleep last night and right before my brain turned off my last thought was, "I wonder who the queen of chicago was". I didn't get to sleep for another ten minutes because that kept going all throughout my head. There is only one way to solve this problem, and I know what it is, since nobody seems to know who the queen of Chicago is, I WILL GO ON A HUNGER STRIKE UNTIL SHE REVEALS HER IDENTITY TO ME! She has to know me if she got to my journal and I just want to know who she is. Don't worry, I don't have the desire or willpower to do anything remotely resembling a hunger strike, so I'm not in any danger of starving, I just wanted to emphasize that right now I really just want to know who the hell this girl is. This is even worse than the oldschool Peachy situation, because Peachy at least left info, and the last theory we came up with (with evidence from outside sources) was that Peachy was a guy, which just makes it very very creepy and gross. Whatever, but now I'm intrigued by the Queen of chicago, so whoever you are, please just talk to me so I can figure out whats going on, cuz I am a freak and stuff like that gets to my head.
Does anyone know what happened to Chelsea's journal? Chelsea is Andy's friend that went to Six Flags with Andymac, GB, and me, and she had a journal here and I put it on my friends list because Chelsea rocks. I haven't spoken to her since Six Flags, but I've checked out her journal sometimes, and I went to check out her journal today and it said that I was off her friends list and there was a line through her name on my friends list. I clicked on the link to go to her journal and it said that she had violated some policy or something like that, and her journal wasn't there. If anyone knows what happened to her journal then please let me know, because I was just wondering.
Well, last night I got to talk to Amanda for the first time since June. For those of you who don't know, I took a film making course thing two summers ago at SUNY Purchase. It was pretty fun, it went for half of the day and then I had plenty of time in the rest of the day to chill with whoever was free. Anyways, we were all split up into groups to make movies, and Amanda was in my group. Honestly, I think I liked her before the end of the first day we were in our group. There was just something about her that made me go "wow..." in my head and just made me realize how amazing and cool she is. I have loved this girl for a little over a year now, and I see her and talk with her so rarely that it's painful. She lives in White Plains, which is far away. It's not as far away as Oxford, but it is a bit harder to get to (traffic and highway conditions, etc). Anyways, since it's long distance I can virtually never call her, and since she is online so rarely it really makes it incredibly difficult to even talk to her even for a few minutes. Anyways, I talked to her last night and it was amazing. I had to study for my periodic table test, I had to do my math hw, I had to read over Fanning's copy of the Fantasticks, I had a busy night ahead of me, and she made all of it seem so insignificant in comparisson to punching keys at my computer for hours with her on the other end. We were cut short, but the way we were talking made me, this is me we're talking about, have faith that maybe something could happen between us. I want to tell her, I want to tell her how I tried to forget her all summer so I could maybe hope to get my mind onto something else, how no matter how little we say she can alwyas put a smile on my face, and no matter how much I try to tell myself that am over her and that I will be able to find someone else that I can't and that when I thinl about her it makes me happy and it makes me dream and it gives me faith that something great and amazing like that can happen to me. I know I might sound like a stalker or a crazy lunatic or a hopeless romantic but I want some type of love like that. I've never had anything close to a relationship, and this matters to me because when I'm around her or talking to her or even thinking about her it just feels like there's something right about it all that I can't describe without sounding like an idiot and giving it no justice at all. I had spent a large part of my thinking over the summer trying to make myself realize that it couldn't work at all and I had that thought in mind and it was all replaced with the emptiness of not feeling that type of love for anyone (I love my friends and my family and all that, but I think you understand what I mean by that empty feeling that I know all too well). I wasn't even sure if I would say hi to her online last night, and I did just to check up on her, and everything I felt for her has come rushing back to me over the past two days. I love Amanda, there's no point in trying to hide it, I am hopelessly in love with her right now. I understand that tomorrow, or in a week, or a month I might feel different, but right now I feek great just because I spoke to her, the girl that I can always be myself around and have a great time with. If this bored you or you didn't want to hear about this then fuck you, you didnt have to read it and don't go whining to me about it, this meant something to me so I said it (that little outburst is based around the outburst everybody had to when I wrote 'sorry' at the end of my "Beginning of the End" entry, thanks for the support everyone).
I was going to do something else, like talk about some more random stuff, but I'm very happy with what I just wrote right now. I know the entry lacked all of the randomness which was to be expected based on the title, but I don't care. I was going to do another "Who's Who" type thing, but that, and all the other stuff I wanted to say can wait. I like what I just wrote and I hope you do too. Good luck to everyone trying out for the Fantasticks on Wednesday (notaably GB, Brewstarius, Andymac, and last but not least Loya, I think Sarah M. is trying out too, I barely know her but she's cool so good luck to her too), I'm even trying out (I kinda like the characters of Henry and Mortimer, so I think I'll go out for one of them, and I got some faith in myself this time, so maybe that'll help). Yeah, I forgot to mention, I've been getting some faith in myself lately, I do want to say that. It's not too much faith, mostly small scale stuff like BBUPT stuff and school type stuff, but you have to start somewhere. Could Shady Bacon become less introverted and get rid of some self-loathing/lack of faith? It's always a possibility. In the other casting things I got a mix of Anthony Michael Hall and John Cusack from "Better Off Dead" (a pretty kickass and accurate mix if I do say so myself) as a member of the 80s Brat Pack, and GB cast me as Captain Marvel in the Avengers, which rocks because Marv is one of my all time favorite super-heroes, and the reasoning behind it fits me pretty well too. Anyways, comment if you want, don't if you don't, do whatever the hell you want and have a nice night everyone, Ta ta
--The Shady Bacon
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heeeeeeeeeey......my blurty got suspended because blurty.com found out that i did not meet all of the requirements of being a blurty.com member, namely the one were you have to be a specific age......it*s taken me a while to get another one because my computer is (there is not other word for it) gaaaaaaaaaaay. Haha. ANd thank you for saying that i rock, i agree, in a non-conceited way.....lolol jk....you and gb rock as well, two awesome people, but then of course you*re friends with anders, the k0o0o0ooLest person ever, so you woud obviously be just as awesome as he is. haha...keep in mind that i*ve been awake for about...hmm....21 hours now.....ya......goooodnight mr.shadybacon dude. |
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all i can really say is urthe man sean. even after ive left, out of all my friends from stratford, ur prolly one of the few i genuinely miss and get upset about not seeing. i say tell amanda what the deal is cause otherwise shell never kno an ull go insane cause everything ur feeling will stay bottled up until it really makes u go insane. i swear to god ull feel baout 300 million times better with urself once uve worked up the cajones to tell her the del. and knowin the quality of person u r i sincerely doubt she would react negatively. and if she does...fuck her theres other people out there who even tho it wont seem like...are jus as if not more amazing then her. and it really does make me smile knowin that ur self image and faith in oneself is on the rise, ur jus a great human being an its time u realize what the rest of the world knos. im alway around in the jersey so gimme a call if u wanna chat or need adivce ima be there dontcha worry. im out tho cause this is a little too sentimental for even me.|
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