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Ryan (therealleblanc) wrote,
@ 2003-10-23 23:33:00
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    Current mood:gloomy
    Current music:Mudvayne - World So Cold

    poping the online journal cherry
    this is the first time that i have done something like this. i hope something like this will help me with my shyness. some people and places refer to it as social anxiety. either way it sucks. i find it hard sometimes to say hi to people. i don't know i am this way, well actually i do and this will probably be revealed over time. how come it is at night you feel the most alone? Ever since the game 7 of the ALCS i have been feeling lonely. i had never been happier since i had been single from that disaster of a relationship i had. by the way, why do people still ask about it when it ended 6 months ago? when i woke up the next morning after the game i felt so alone. i bet it was because i put so much hope in the Red Sox that they could win a championship for Boston. oh well, welcome to the tragedy of being a Sox fan. theres always next season. i just hope this online journal helps me to reach out and talk to more people and make new friends. one friend told me it might be fate but i dont believe in fate. if there is such a thing as fate then each person is the holder of their own fate. also if their is such a thing is fate i would punch him in the face because i am going to live life on my own terms. now saying that i hope i can live it out. it has been a thought in my mind for a while but i have never been able to live it. i know i am missing out on something and i will find it, whatever it might be. so i leave tonight with some hope. i will eventually one day live the words i write and live life on my own terms, but hey Rome wasn't built in a day.



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