book-it theatre, please just let me know that i'm rejected from your internship program. you know i am, i know i am, and all of the people who give me pitying looks and tell me to be optimistic know that i am. so let's just get this shit over with, yeah?
lately i've been crying a lot. maybe i'm tired, or forgetting to take my prozac is finally catching up. but feeling empty and like i have no real future and what little things i've done that i was proud of were really pitiful and people were mainly trying to be nice when they told me it was good. job interview tomorrow with barnes and noble. they will probably reject me as well, but at least they've gotten back to me, as opposed to all of the other job applications i've filled out that have vanished into the abyss. i know, i know that's how it works, especially in this bad economy. i just want my rejection up front so i don't make things worse by hoping and then being gently reminded that i fail.
time to go be nobody and nowhere.
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 | Mlah.
(Anonymous)
2009-04-26 16:14
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No, I know exactly how you feel. While I was waiting to hear back from graduate schools I was an anxious wreck- I was crying all the time for no apparent reason. It just sucks to be waiting, to feel like your future is so tentative and insecure.
I don't know- this is just kind of a weird time, but I was talking with my stats teacher the other day about future stuff and he gave me this advice: enjoy the decision making process. I'm not sure how encouraging this is, but you know, despite the uncertainty and anxiousness of now, there's also somewhat-unlimited possibility and so much that has yet to be determined.
This might not be the most helpful of comments but I can honestly say this: despite current bleakness, I have a strong suspicion that things will work out well for you.
<3,
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(Anonymous)
2009-04-26 21:08
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You might not welcome this from my (currently) stable position, but I was there just a couple years ago and I remember it all too well. I broke down to the parents twice a week all summer after graduation, convinced that no one would ever want me to be anything more than an office bitch (if I could even get that). I spent hours on job sites, sending my resume to dozens of people who never e-mailed me back. I felt like I'd wasted the last four years getting a degree in something nobody cared about in the real world. Sound familiar?
I'm not going to say anything for-sure about Barnes and Noble, since I obviously don't know what the branch you're interviewing is like, but I will say that in retail, people like us are gold. You're intelligent, articulate, responsible, and honest. If you show up when you're supposed to, are pleasant to be around, and don't steal from the company, you're already head-and-shoulders above most of the people who work in retail. Be sure to give them my info if they'd like an additional reference from someone who's actually worked for them! Leurve and see you in a couple of weeks. Call anytime if you need some addtional pep-talking.
Your sister
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