After the shift at the shop, Ken went upstairs to his apartment. As was his routine, he locked the door behind him and kicked off his shoes. Collapsing on the sofa, he clicked on the TV and surfed the sport channels until he found a game. The volume low, he sat for a minute staring at the screen before he stretched and stood.
Turning the TV so he could see it from the kitchen, he made a light dinner. He wasn't really hungry, and hadn't been for the past week, but his body told him he needed to eat, so he succumbed to it's demands.
He ate in silence, unable to finish what he made. The numbness of his heart felt heavy in his chest. The food held no taste, the game held no interest, and Ken found himself staring out towards the window, although he couldn't very well have seen much more than the building next door and a small patch of sky.
No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts always drifted back to the dark haired leader of Schwarz. Somehow, ever since their first meeting, Brad Crawford had gotten to him. He wasn't sure how or why, but the more he spent time with the enigmatic assassin, the more he found himself drawn inexplicably towards him, much like a moth to a flame.
He was embarrassed by how easily he gave up his body for the man. But there was something about how Brad touched him, that made his whole frame vibrate with need and desire. It was like a drug, and he wanted more, even if they never did anything physical again. The way he felt just being around the man, Ken wanted and needed to be with Brad.
Elbows on the table, his head fell limply into his hands. The realization that he may never have that dropped upon him with such devastation it made him dizzy.
He tried desperately to hold to what Brad had told him...I want to be with you... but it seemed like it was said an eternity ago even though it was just last saturday. He appreciated that Schuldig tried to make him feel better about Brad, but it was hard. Brad had managed to stay away successfully. According to what Aya said, apparently Nagi did too.
It didn't help to know that Schuldig wasn't staying away from Omi, although he would never begrudge that opportunity to his friend. He was truly glad that Omi had Schuldig, even if it meant he didn't need Ken anymore. As long as Omi was happy, that was all that mattered to him.
With a heavy head, he stood and cleared the table, deciding to finish the kitchen cleanup later. The shower was quick and donning his sweats and a tshirt, he padded back out into the livingroom. Laying on the sofa, he stared at the screen, barely registering the images until his eyes grew heavy and he fell into a restless sleep.
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