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Hidaka Ken (the_tigers_claw) wrote,
@ 2003-04-30 09:50:00
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    Current mood:tired

    Private


    We had a good visit with Aya last night. We couldn't stay too long, the nurses wanted to throw us out so that he could rest. Omi managed to sweet talk her out of it, so that was alright.

    He looked a bit confused when I brought in the flowers from Yohji, but just nodded when I gave him Yohji's message.

    Aya is doing surprisingly well being bedridden. It looks like the two years have affected even him. There was a time he would have had to be sedated and strapped down. Okay, maybe that is a bit extreme. But he wouldn't have had the patience to try and heal, knowing it is for the best.

    Now he is there in the hospital, willingly, AND he cooperates. Truly Aya has grown the most of us all, and for that I'm glad. With the insanity that seems to be swirling around our regrouping, we need someone who can be trusted not to do something rash.

    Not that Yohji can't be trusted. But he still has a temper that flares up occasionally. I know I can't be trusted not to do anything rash. I'm not dumb.

    And Omi...[sigh] what is there left to be said? A walking paradox. He mouths the words that he cares, and then on the next breath, acts completely and totally selfish, like being sweet to you is just a show.

    Yesterday in the shop, he confused me when he asked me what happened. He didn't have time for me when I first got back. When I told him, he sighed, like in relief sighed. I wanted to ask him what he meant by that but Schuldig decided that was a time to buy flowers.

    I know...strike that..I would like to believe that Omi wasn't relieved that I got the piss pounded out of me, but ... the timing...

    So he sighs, glad that I got beaten, coupled with the fact that he completely blew me off when I tried to talk to him when I got back...this isn't boding well.

    Then there was that song and dance crap between him and Schuldig. It was more than Schuldig coming to be nice to me. They've met before. They were too familiar with each other.

    The lady protests too much, methinks.

    Whatever is going on with Omi, he is not who I thought he was.

    And this saddens me, not because I stand in judgement. I don't. I'm in NO position to judge ANYONE. Even if Omi wants to have sex with Schuldig until Judgement Day, that is his business and none of mine.

    But because I've lost his friendship and I don't know how. He's made it clear over the years he wants nothing more. I can abide by that, now that I see the handwriting on the wall.

    It's easy to be nice to him, because I am still his friend, and I will be there whenever he needs me. So I will continue as I always have.

    But I know that he is not mine anymore.



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