sanny (terminalblock) wrote, @ 2008-11-06 12:39:00

Chapter 34 Struggle (3) of the emotion
Chapter 34 Struggle (3) of the emotion
I seldom become the telephone desolately, does not know that it's time to speak anything, he seldom comes back from telephone too. I know what he is thinking, he is really desperate, he is forcing oneself to leave me, I know. He wants me to adapt to not having his day, just as he is making great efforts to adapt to not having my day.
Bei Bei is said, why are you so stupid? How could let him leave?
He has already decided, have not discussed with me.
Your pig's head? Why not keep him? You know, your tears can keep him here certainly, Xiao Cheng's love to you is what nobody can be replaced.
I have already injured him, perhaps we will be really calm.
Blue, do you really love him?
I do not know, I do not really know. However, I miss him very much, I am not used to not having his day.
Then you ask him to come back, you tell him that you miss him, you need him.
I do not know, I do not know, I am afraid, Bei Bei, I do not know whether this is love, I'm afraid to continue injuring him oneself.
It is incurable that you are really.
You know, I will not pray for the love.
Is this earnestly hoping? It is really feeling that this only lets him know you.
I do not know one's own feeling either, do not know better than him. Perhaps this's the real reason why we separate, we need time to see oneself clearly. If he loves me, time will not change easily. If I love him, time will be proved to me.
Perhaps, the ice is blue, the happiness is actually grasped in one's own hands, you must not loose one's grip easily.
It was burnt that I knew Bei Bei and to my having no way out.
I am waiting for him to come back.
In this more than half a year, Xiao Cheng has not come back, I have not gone to see him either, just my miss is denser and denser, do not desalinize because of time at all.
My life has changed quickly, has got back to the five years ago confused state again, never have breakfast, the supper is taken not so badly bubbles, there is nothing except the apple inside the refrigerator. I do not bother to move, do not bother to tidy up, in the sofa, or write ceaselessly on the nest every day. Actually I was a confused person, only Xiao Cheng could save me in the confusion. I begin to look forward to his telephone, begin to expect him to come back early, begin to miss his warm hand in the dream, his smile, milk which he brought in for me and hot grass meal. Perhaps there is no person not leaving in the world, there is habit not leaving. I do not know the hands whether Xiao Cheng will also try to find out me at each night could fall asleep.
On the first, a modest boy knocks open my door, the circumstances about eighteen nine years old. He stands at the gate timidly and timidly, wears a suit of very old sweat shirt and a pair of broken liberation shoes, could you tell me this is eldest brother Xiao's family?
I am looking at him wondering. Yes, are you?
I am a little tiger, the child is looking at me.
I am looking at him wondering, is it busy to look for him? Have not let him enter the meaning on the door.
Unless say child, unless it comes I to be the who thanks eldest brother Xiao, then the getting more timid to ask timid again,he then in?
He is out, you sit down first, OK? I think which relative of patient it is Cheng Xiao, have relative of patient bring in pile present beat door of us often. However, curiously, this child has caused my strong curiosity.
The child bends over to take off the shoes at the gate, put neatly, has come in in bare feet.
Needn't take off the shoes to needn't take off the shoes. He take off shoes, getting mere foot, marble board for early spring heart ice-cold completely, I take out a pair of thick slippers to him quickly, the little tiger, put on quickly, catch a cold carefully.
The little tiger puts the slippers, does not wear, the black foot is rubed with the hands back and forth, very narrow appearance.
I am not cold, I can not be used to wearing the shoes, in our village, everybody does not go to school in the shoes, it has snowed and does not wear, we are all used to it.
I see him smiling, but heart is very shocked, he laughs too shily, rubing the trick with the hands back and forth.
Has poured a cup of hot water for him, do I say, little tiger, how did you know eldest brother Xiao? Why express gratitude to him?
Does he say, is Nen eldest brother Xiao's lover?
I say, yes, I am his wife.
One sound kneels down in little tiger Tong. Elder sister, thank Nen, thanks, if without Nen, I will not have today.
I am frightened terribly, support him to stand up at once, he is then kneeling on the ground, say ceaselessly that thanks.
I say, little tiger, you stand up, sit down and tell me the story of you and eldest brother Xiao, OK?
The little tiger lifts the head, several drops of tears circle round in the eye socket. He say eldest brother Xiao pieces of good person really, I I father die right away in the childhood very, my mother involved me and grew up alone, I got a kind of disease when 11 years old, needed to have an operation, our village is very poor, there is a ox only in the family, that was raised for a lot of years by my mother, having counted on it, I nearly grow up with that ox, but my mother sells the ox, I have seen my mother crying, I have cried too, I hate making my mother sad by oneself, later on, my mother also asks people have taken advantage of money to take me to the county to diagnose the illness on the village, she says so long as can cure my disease, even if beggar she admit money spend, county hospital does not dare, operate on too. Little tiger wash, slip away nose, bring dense mountain accent continue, say I on give a piggyback I come the town make surgery mother. The operation has been done, our money has been used up too, the doctor says I can't leave hospital yet, but we have no money to pay the cost of hospitalization, my mother is very urgent in the heart, the desolate doctor often comes to my ward to check my situation at that time, he tells me pain that many stories dispersed me, the desolate doctor is very warm while smiling, let me think that can live really well. We can't buy or sell on credit the accounts of the hospital, my mother really goes to beg in the street, I do not know, later, the desolate doctor had seen my mother at the gate of hospital, he took my mother back, the next day, someone handed in the expenses that I was in hospital for me, I knew that one that was handed in by a desolate doctor, he has rescued my mother and me. The desolate doctor knew the situation of my family, he lets me study carefully, actually I wanted to give up studying in the middle school, I can not afford to pay the tuition, more and more non- healthy my mother is, the ox has sold for too, my mother can not move the work in the field. The desolate doctor will supply me with the tuition every year, write to me, he lets me insist on, must study, must be admitted to a university and served more persons. I am from deciding at that time I would study medicine, I would cure the sickness to save the patient like desolate doctor, I will learn well to get back to our county, cure the disease for more poor persons.