Why God Saved Me
I've been pondering this question a lot lately. Why did God save ME? there are a lot of people who are in dire need of him and his greatness and I was chosen. I knew my life was bad, a lot of stuff happened to me. I lost my mother, uncle, and grandfather all in the same year and I was struggling with depression and loneliness. I can remember specific times where I wanted to kill myself, living wasn't an option because I was without something that had provided me my strength and knowledge and courage: my mother. Jesus spoke to me through one of the best gifts I've ever been given, music. Switchfoot, Relient K, Sanctus Real, Watashi Wa, Dogwood, Lifehouse, etc... All these bands questioned everything I always did about Jesus and I didn't receive answers, I got more burning questions in my mind about everything. Through music I devoted myself to God and to trying to be a good Christian. I re-gained my strength and knowledge and courage through someone who wasn't my mother, Jesus. I was sick of fitting the sterotypical teen and the life I was living. The cussing, the drinking, the reckelessness...I somehow bounced out of that and became the opposite. I heard Jon Foreman (Switchfoot) speak live for the first time last May and was given a new desire to spread the word of God and let people know of his greatness.
I am within days of making my confirmation and I still have no clue why God saved ME. I know that my mother is always with me, I know that no matter what happens in life Jesus will always be there to pick me up when I fall, I know that the love I have for Jesus cannot be broken because he loves me just as much as I love him. I am thankful I was lucky enough to even be seen by God after all the things I've done. I sin everyday and I am trying to be a better person and as each day goes by I change, I change a little bit and become wiser and different. If I never get the answer to the question Why God Saved Me then it's okay because I will always be thankful to breathe the air I am breathing now, to see the things I have seen...the good and the bad because the good I will carry and the bad have taught me a lesson in life. I am thankful to be surrounded by good people, people who love and care for me and people who will always help me. If I lose it all...everything I have, my money, my family, my house, all my belongings IT'S OKAY because I have something bigger than that, something that can't be broken and that is the Holy Spirit, the lord, the giver of LIFE.
I've been thinking deeply for days now and had to get all of it out, maybe it was an attempt to let people know how I feel but probably just to get what I'm saying organized.
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