|Current mood:|| depressed|
ok I caved
So I discovered I need to write in here and just let people read it to just get some stuff off my chest because I'm obviously not handling it well myself.
Today was just another one of those bad days. I really have been trying not to get upset and over-react about things because I thought that's what I did.... but I found out today that no, I'm not just over reacting. First of all Lisa gets all snotty with me.. .AGAIN! And she may be joking but it hurts. For some reason, the past few weeks she's been too good for me or something and it just eats at me. I'm trying so hard not to let it get to me, but today it did. It's like she doesn't care what she does or says to me anymore and that's really frustrating.
And then Meagan, our RA, comes into our room and only asks Jodi if she wanted to go to dinner with her tonight. That really hurt. Why wouldn't she ask us both?? And then she comes in here and only talks to Jodi. That hurts alot too. Maybe I have been quiet around her, but she makes me feel like I can't talk to her for some reason.
And then we go out for pizza with the wing and I just clam up because I feel like no one on my wing really cares whether I'm there or not. I don't know.... THAT still might be me overreacting but a part of me feels like they just didn't get to know me enough and now we're leaving in two weeks and none of them will miss because none of them got to know me enough. Yes that could be my fault.. it probably is. WHY AM I LIKE THIS!? I hate it!!!!!!!!! I need to fix this and now.. I'm trying so hard but it obviously isn't enough.
And to a very special friend... you know who you are, I know you're struggling right now... believe me I know how you feel. Please try to look on the bright side. I love you so much and you are truly an amazing person. Don't give up on your dreams because you are the type of person who can have everything she wants if she just puts the effort into it. I love you Shaniqua Rillimillervanwinkelsma!
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