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Jake-currentfave-BlackWidow (streetballmob) wrote,
@ 2004-10-22 11:57:00
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    determined
    I get off these crutches november 1st. I am looking forward to it so much. There are many things on my mind. Business thoughts roam in my head..."make the most of the opportunity, start making business contacts, push marketing"...Othere thoughts are flowing too. I think about swimming, doing many things to stay in shape. These things make me feel good. It makes me feel better about life and gives me added confidence when i am on top of my game, phsyically, mentally and emotionally. Obviously the ultimate obstacle is getting into the conditioning that will allow me to get onto that basketball court...Until then, NOTHING will do. Not swimming, not stair climbing, NOTHING....I read about Karl Malone's interview in the paper this morning. They asked him if we was considering a comeback to the lakers, to which he did not have a reply. He suffered a medial collateral ligament (MCL) injury last year and had surgery at the beginning of the summer. This ligament is the opposite side of my injury to the ACL.

    They asked him what he was doing in his free time, obviously referring to his phsical preparation and regimen, as hee looked very physically fit.

    His simple reply was, what do you think i'm doing, 1 1/2 hours of stairmaster a day, everyday.
    I admire that dedication. The interlude between injury and full recovery requires a lot of willpower, something I don't lack thankfully. However, its depressing to have to do other things, things that are boring, but necessary. I plan to do those things...I'm going to swim everyday, get my body into supreme physical condition as it once was... When I eventually step onto that court, people will not sense a weakness...They will see strength, they will see that i can do the same things, more things, more skilled abilities as well as the athletic. Most importantly, I will feel that. I'm going to do box squats with heavy bands, lifting more than 420 pounds (my previous max). I am going to make people in the gym grimmace when they spot my 175 pound frame, wirey lean frame doing things they view as crazy. Thats how it is, that how i am. I will never change. I will always be extreme...Balance is good but i've long ago realized I wasn't born with balance. When you think of me, I'd like to be remembered as someone who made the most of what I had, and surprisingly surpassed the capabilities predicted of me. I will show that to everyone...My dad, my brother, my mother who worries and doubts my internal mechanics and genetics will stand up to the physical abuse I deliver. Sometimes i hear my dad say be careful, "I know you can, but you're not black". That is bullshit...Yes I am on the inside. lol thats my immediate thought...Or just shut up!. You don't know what my capabilities are...I dont know either...I'm going to define those.
    Maybe he doubts his ability to break his old running records....He used to be the runners champion in the 800 meter event in his agegroup 14-16. In order for him to break those, he knows he has to lose weight, but he's been over 200 pounds for many years now. Sometimes floating to the low 200's and then escalating to 220 at his high points. Excuses excuses are always what he gives me when I ask him why he cannot be consistent. "Im too busy, and you dont understand what stress is". It's hard to study, to work, and manage it in my time. Truth is I know it's hard, But i do understand it, and I make time. He just doesnt love it enough or want it enough, or he'd have done it already. But theres that middle ground i was talking about...That hard to reach in between stage of being injured to being ready to compete. He never gets past that stage. But i believe he is physically talented enough at almost 50 to break 2 minutes in the 800, his record. He has to get down to 170-175 to do it, but he can if he did. But he definitely is more passive than I am, which translates to he never will. He limits himself. I've always wanted to do things i couldnt do at the time. And when i did them, I wanted to do more. That's the difference.

    Some of you guys may think hey, this is physical stuff..."But everything is relative". If you feel good about how you achieve certain things in your life, you will be as agressive in handling other things in life. I'm a firm believer in that. And if you take the pessimistic approach, or the passive approach, then that wil be reflective on all your actions, not just the ones you're concentrated on.

    November 1st is the beginning...Youve done it before and you'll do it again...just keep focused. 3-2-1 jake, 3-2-1................


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